


Holding On To You

by Hockey_3720



Series: Sitting on Top of The World [4]
Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Depression, Kid Fic, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-11-27 09:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18192977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockey_3720/pseuds/Hockey_3720
Summary: Danny just sat there, looking down at his plate, pushing around the uneaten eggs. “Danny, you need to eat. The half of the pancake isn’t going to do anything for you,” Julian whispered as he squatted down next to Danny and placed a hand on Danny’s thigh.“I’m not hungry,” Danny mumbled as he put his fork down and looked down at Julian.“There is no way you’re not hungry,” Julian challenged. “This is the first time you’ve sat down to eat all day. Even though you won’t admit it, I know you’re still hurting-- still healing… And you need to eat or you won't recover properly.”





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m thinking this will be 4 parts y’all, hope you enjoy!

The phone ringing in the early morning woke Danny from his peaceful slumber.

He’d been home for about eight days since being checked out of the hospital. Jules was able to take a small leave for “personal issues”, so he was around to help Danny with moving about the house (because he was still in quite a bit of pain), and was able to help with the kids. 

Danny sat up and let out a sigh as he leaned over for his phone on the night side table. “Hello,” he mumbled as he let his eyes fall shut— he never thought about checking the caller ID. 

“Hi, Danny, it’s Ashley. I-I think you and Jules should come to the hospital,” Ashley’s call voice said on the other end of the line. 

Danny’s eyes shot open. “I-Is… Ashley… Don’t… Don’t tell me…” Tears began to surface in Danny’s eyes. 

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. “Please, Danny, I don’t want to explain this on the phone. I’ll be waiting for you.” 

Danny pulled the phone from his ear and reached over to pat Julian’s chest. “J-Jules… babe…” 

Julian let out a huff and looked up at Danny through sleepy blue eyes. “What Bubs? It’s gotta be like 6:30… I wanna sleep.” 

“Ashley just called,” Danny said. He blinked and a few tears ran down his cheeks. 

Julian’s blue eyes went wide. “W-What? Danny…” 

Danny shook his head and choked on his breath. “It didn’t sound good,” he practically whispered. “We need to go to th-the hospital.” 

Julian sighed as he sat up and pulled Danny into him. Danny snaked his arms around Julian and sobbed into his bare chest. “I’m sorry, Julian. I’m so sorry. I-I…” 

“Shh… It’s okay, Bubs. You’re fine. We’re fine. Ethan is going to be fine. I promise you.” Julian sounded so calm, when in reality, he was trying to keep himself together… For Danny’s sake. “We need to call someone to watch the boys.” 

“T-Tom’s right down the road,” Danny mumbled with a sigh. “Should… Should I call him?” 

Julian shook his head. “No, Bubs… just get ready… I’ll go and call him. Then we can head to the hospital.” 

Danny sighed and nodded sadly. “Okay…” 

Reluctantly, Julian slid out of bed, pulled on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, then grabbed his phone to call Tom.

“Hey Jules. What’s up,” Tom answered after just two rings. 

Julian let out a loud sigh. “Uh hey man… We just uh… We just got a call from the hospital… Can you please come over to watch the kids for us?” 

It took Tom a second. “Oh… Yeah, of course. I’ll be there in five. I hope everything is okay.” 

“Thanks man… I do too.” 

There was a sinking feeling I’m Jules’ chest that told him everything wasn’t going to be okay. 

*** 

When Julian and Danny walked into Ashley’s office, they didn’t know what to expect. All they could do was hold on to each other’s hands for their dear lives. 

“Hi guys,” Ashley said softly as they walked in. “Please sit down.” 

She could see the distressed looks on their faces, and she knew what she was about to tell them wasn’t going to make it any better. 

“This morning I got a call about Ethan. He was beginning to throw up, had a high temperature, a slower heartbeat, and a slightly bloated abdomen,” she said and let out a sigh. “After running a few tests… We discovered it was necrotizing enterocolitis, otherwise known as NCE.” 

She slid some papers toward the couple and folded her hands on her desk. “Basically, his intestines are infected with a bacteria. This means there will be inflammation. Now… if it does get bad enough, his bowel walls may be destroyed. We’ve been working tirelessly to ensure he’s okay. Now… do you have any questions?” 

Danny grasped Julian’s hand a little tighter. “Will he be okay,” he asked quietly. 

“Well,” Ashley let out a long sigh. “The survival rate is about fifty percent… I believe we caught it early enough.” 

Danny couldn't say anything. He just dipped his head down, so his chin was digging into his chest. Danny felt like he did this, felt that they were in this circumstance because the way he felt when he was expecting Ethan. Suddenly, not being able to play football wasn’t so bad. 

“C-Can we see him,” Julian asked as he held Danny’s hand a little tighter. 

Danny’s brown eyes quickly lifted and looked back up at Ashley, who was studying him carefully. She eventually nodded. “Yes you can… But you cannot touch him like you have been lately.” 

*** 

Neither of them knew what to expect when they walked into the NICU, but they definitely didn’t expect to see their son lying there in the incubator with a stomach that was nearly twice the size of his head. 

Danny sucked in a breath as he fell into the chair next to Ethan’s incubator. Tears began to surface in his eyes. His son looked so helpless, and he didn’t know what to do, or how to react. 

He did this— He caused it. “J-Jules… What are we going to do? That’s our baby boy,” Danny mumbled and put a hand over his mouth. His brown eyes were glued to the poor baby. 

Julian let out a long sigh and put a hand down on Danny’s shoulder. “We believe, Bubs. He’s still got a chance. He’s our little fighter. I know he’ll be fine.” 

“I-I don’t think I’ve ever seen a baby look like that,” Danny mumbled as he choked on his breath. 

Julian sighed from behind him, then dipped down so his arms were wrapped around Danny, holding him as tight as he could as he nuzzled his face in the crook of Danny’s neck. 

Tears began to pull from Danny’s eyes as he sat there, watching, praying that the little guy would pull through. The sudden jolts of his little chest made Danny’s heartbreak. 

“I’m so sorry, Julian… I’m so so sorry,” he finally said, his voice cracking as a sob was shaken out of his chest. “I-I never wanted this to happen.” 

The grip Julian had around Danny’s body only got tighter as he himself began to cry. “I-It’s not your fault… don’t feel that way… You’ve done everything you could,” Julian mumbled into Danny’s skin. “H-He’ll make it. He has to.” 

Danny couldn’t reply with words, all he could get out were sobs. 

*** 

When the pair got home, nearly six hours after leaving, Danny went straight up to their bedroom, walking right past Tom, Vivi, and the kids watching something on TV together. 

He softly closed the door behind him, padded over to the windows, where he pulled the shades down, then slid into their unmade bed. With a sigh, he leaned back into his soft pillows and stared up at the white ceiling. 

“Why us?” He whispered and let out a long huff. “I-I know I overreacted… I never didn’t want him… I-I just, I’m sorry. Please let him be okay.” 

Suddenly, there was the sound of screaming and crying down stairs, pulling Danny out of his thoughts. It was Dylan, it had to be. Bradley was out of the stage of high-pitched screaming. 

Once the sound faded away, Danny knew Jules had it under control… 

“He’s been good all morning,” Tom said as Vivian shifted around in his lap. “Do you… Do you think Danny has to do with it?” 

Julian continued to bounce Dylan on his lap and nodded at his friend. “The two feed off each other,” he said with a sigh. “I just hope Danny can shake out of it… He keeps telling me he’s sorry.” 

Tom furrowed his eyebrows. “He thinks this is his fault?” Tom was actually surprised. He knew all that had happened, but he was not expecting Danny to be so hard on himself. 

Julian let out a sigh as Dylan began to relax and leaned further against his chest. “He does. It tears me apart. I wish he knew it wasn’t his fault,” Julian whispered. “What happened, happened. We can’t stop it now.” 

“Daddy,” Dylan whispered as one of his small hands moved up to grasp Julian’s t-shirt. Big brown eyes, much like Danny’s, were looking up at him. 

“Yeah, Bubs? Whats up,” he asked softly, running a hand through Dylan’s dark hair. 

“C-Can I take a nap with Papa? He’s been sad lately and I want to make him feel better,” Dylan said. Jeez-- this kid was one smart cookie, very mindful of others, and always wanted what was best for everyone-- especially Danny. 

Julian let out a sigh. Danny walked right past everyone and went straight up to their bedroom, where he was probably sitting in the dark and blaming himself. “Why don’t you stay down here with Uncle Tommy and I go check with Papa?” 

Dylan nodded, and let Julian slide him out of his lap. Julian got up and slowly made his way up the steps. Just as he suspected, their bedroom door was shut, and not a sound was coming from inside. He lightly knocked on the door and cracked it open. 

Danny was lying there, under the covers, soft breaths coming from his mouth as tears trailed down his cheeks. “Bubs,” Julian said as he slid further into the room and closed the door behind him. “Y-You can’t just sit in here all day…” 

With a sigh, Danny turned his head toward Julian and shook his head, unable to speak. “I-I… I can’t,” he managed to get out in between cries. 

Julian crawled up on the bed and wrapped his arms around Danny, pulling the older man into him. “It’ll all be okay… Whatever happens… It’s what the man upstairs had planned for us… E-Either way we’ll only be getting stronger.” 

Danny couldn’t help but shake his head as he sobbed into Julian’s chest. 

***

Later that night, for dinner, Julian managed to get Danny out of bed to sit and eat with the family. Every single one of them were down in spirits, but it was apparent that Danny was the worst. The boys managed to eat the eggs and pancakes Julian made for them, while Danny only ate about half of his pancake. 

“Daddy,” Brad asked, big blue eyes looking up at his father. “Can Dyl and I go watch TV?” Normally the kids were not allowed to watch TV between dinner and bedtime because it messed up their sleeping schedule, but Julian felt bad for how the day started out, with neither him or Danny being there when they woke up. 

“Sure, but only for a half hour. I don’t want you two to be awake all night,” he replied as he got up and began to put their plates in the sink. 

“Yes!” Both Dylan and Brad screeched as they ran out of the kitchen and into the living room. 

Danny just sat there, looking down at his plate, pushing around the uneaten eggs. “Danny, you need to eat. The half of the pancake isn’t going to do anything for you,” Julian whispered as he squatted down next to Danny and placed a hand on Danny’s thigh. 

“I’m not hungry,” Danny mumbled as he put his fork down and looked down at Julian. 

“There is no way you’re not hungry,” Julian challenged. “This is the first time you’ve sat down to eat all day. Even though you won’t admit it, I know you’re still hurting-- still healing… And you need to eat or you won't recover properly.” 

Danny just shook his head. “Our baby is in that hospital, dying… What makes you think I shouldn’t be in pain?” 

Julian shook his head. “You have two beautiful boys in the other room who are counting on you. My leave only goes for one more week… Then I won’t be around to help every second of the day. If not for me, please do it for them. They deserved you to be around. They both know something is up, so please… Please just… Make an effort.” 

Danny let out a sigh, his brown eyes softening. “I-It just hurts,” he mumbled. 

“I know it does. He’ll be okay, though. He’ll make it… He’s an Amendola,” Julian said, grabbing Danny’s hand and grasping his quite tight. 

Danny instantly shook his head. “N-No… I mean… My entire lower half is just on fire,” he said. “It actually hurts to move.”

Julian’s blue eyes went wide. “W-Why didn’t you tell me? When was the last time you had any pain killers, Dola?” 

He shrugged. “Yesterday? I-I haven’t moved all that much today,” he whispered. 

Julian let out a sigh and shook his head. “Okay… Why don’t we just… I’ll finish the dishes, while you at least eat your eggs,” Julian began. Danny’s eyes went wide, about to protest, but Julian shook his head. “No, you need protein. You should know that. You’ll finish eating, then we can head up stairs, get the kids ready for bed, and then we can go to bed.” 

Danny couldn’t deny it. 

*** 

The next morning, the couple dropped the kids off at the Brady’s where Gisele would be watching them, because Tom was at practice, then headed to the hospital to check in on Ethan. 

After they signed into the NICU, the headed straight for Ethan’s room. There was a curtain between the door and where Ethan was. Danny’s stomach began to churn— this couldn’t be good. 

“J-Jules,” he whispered as the younger man moved ahead of him, and pulled the curtain aside a little. He grabbed Julian’s hand, causing Julian to look back at him. Danny was beginning to panic, and Julian’s blue eyes seemed to calm him a bit. 

“I-It’s okay… come on,” Julian whispered as he pulled Danny along with him. 

When they walked through the curtain, neither of them could believe what they saw. Their son was lying there, his stomach bulging even more than it was the day before, and his skin was extremely red and beginning to peel. 

Danny’s knees buckled, but Julian was thankfully able to move over and wrap his arm around Danny, holding the older man tight to him. Danny brought his arms up and wrapped them around Julian, sobbing into the younger man’s chest. “J-Julian.” 

Julian tore his eyes away from their son and looked down at Danny, holding him tight as tears began to pull from his eyes. 

The sound of the curtain being pulled open, tore Julian’s attention away from Danny and rested his chin on Danny’s head, looking up at the person who had just come in; Ashley. 

She stood there, an unsure look on her face. “Hey guys,” she said softly and moved past the couple. She moved a chair up so Julian could let Danny down into it, but Danny wouldn’t let go. 

Julian moved them so he was the one sitting, and Danny was in his lap. “Please, babe,” he whispered in Danny’s ear. 

After a few, Danny managed to calm himself, but continued to hold onto Julian for dear life. 

Ashley let out a sigh and took a seat in front of them. “As you can tell, his condition has gotten worse. We’ve been doing everything we can, unfortunately, it is looking like there is a much lesser chance of him making it,” she said softly. 

Danny began shaking in Julian’s arms as he shook his head. “I-I… I’m sorry, J-Jules,” he sobbed. “I’m so sorry.” 

Ashley began to shake her head. “Danny, this is in no way your fault. Your body just wasn’t ready to carry again,” she said. “There was nothing you could have done differently. Your… Your body just couldn’t handle it any longer.” 

Danny pulled from Julian’s chest and looked from his baby, then to Ashley. “It was me… I didn’t treat my body correctly. I was too self obsessed to realize I needed to treat me body correctly,” he shot back, his eyes red and puffy as he looked at the doctor. 

Ashley shook her head. “Once you found out, you did everything you could, Danny. Please… What Ethan needs for you right now is to stay strong, do everything you can for him,” she reasoned, staying calm. 

Before Danny would throw anymore words at her, Julian jumped in. “She is right, Bubs,” he said, rubbing Danny’s back to sooth him. “Tough times don’t last… Tough people do… So we need to stay strong.” 

Danny looked up into Julian’s blue eyes, took a deep breath, then nodded. “O-Okay…” 

***

“How is the pain today,” Julian asked Danny as they walked up to Gillette, where they’d planned to see the guys for a bit after their practice. 

Julian was hoping seeing the guys would things off both of their minds. He was also hoping to get a mean workout in, running after the kids just wasn't enough. 

“The pain between my legs or the one in my heart,” Danny asked, numbly. He shot Julian a cold look and pursed his lips. 

Julian rolled his eyes. “What do you think, Danny? I just want you to be okay,” he whispered as he pulled open the door for Danny. 

The two made their ways into the building and down the hall toward the locker room. “I feel fine,” he whispered. “You made me take my medication today… It’ll be effective for another two or three hours.” 

“Good, now lets see the boys. They all miss you. They haven’t seen you since like September,” Julian mumbled. “Ryan Allen would ask about you like every day.” 

Danny rolled his eyes. Ryan Allen was always kind an oddball, but he always meant the best. The two pushed through the doors, where the team was sitting around. It seemed like millions of pairs of eyes looked back at them, as the locker room erupted. 

Tons of smiles were flashed in their direction as they sat down over at Julian’s stall. “H-Hey guys,” Danny said, shakily. “How are you guys? It’s been so long.”

After a while, every single guy greeting Dola with smiles, the locker room began to filter out guys… Soon enough, it was just Danny, Julian, Rob, and Tom. 

Tom sat down next to Danny and smiled at him, placing a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “How ya holding up man,” he asked, his soft blue eyes looking back at Danny. 

Danny's smile was taken of his face as he let out a sigh, showing just how he felt the entire day. “O-Okay,” he said softly. “He was so much worse today.” 

Tom nodded, understanding. “You gotta keep your head up man,” he said and looked over ot Jules. “You too… I know you’ll be back soon, but family comes first… Don’t you dare hesitate,” Tom said. 

Julian nodded. “Oh, I know,” he whispered. “I’d like to thank the both of you…” He looked to Rob as well. “For both being there for us and the boys. We really appreciate it.” 

“It isn’t a problem. You’re apart of our families too,” Tom shot back with a smile. “Do you guys, and the kids, want to come over for dinner tonight? We have our chef making an early Thanksgiving meal with one of the biggest turkeys I’ve ever seen.” 

Danny and Julian exchanged looks before nodding. “Yeah, man, we’d love to,” Julian answered for them. 

Rob nodded. “Hell yeah! You know I love it when Trish cooks! It’s always so damn good!” 

*** 

“Papa,” Dylan screeched as Julian and Danny made their ways through the doors of the Brady household. He ran up to Danny and wrapped his arms tightly around Danny’s legs. 

“Hey buddy,” he said as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around his son. “Have you been good for Gisele today?” 

“Yes Papa,” he said, wide brown eyes looking up at Danny. “We did some mediation in the backyard because it was so nice today!” 

Danny chuckled a big as he leaned down to pick Dylan up. “I think you mean meditation,” he said with a small smile on his face. 

Dylan’s brown eyes went wide and his little mouth popped open. “Oh! Yeah! That! We did that! It was fun, Papa!” 

“I bet you did,” Danny said. “What else did you do?” He began walking into the living room so the two could sit on the couch-- also so he could ease his pain a bit. 

“We played a board game… Looked at picture books… and colored! I colored you a elephant, Papa,” he exclaimed with a big smile. 

“That is so great, Buddy. What did Brad color,” he asked as he sat down and adjusted Dylan on his lap. 

Dylan began to rapidly shake his head. “He didn’t color. He was on time out,” Dylan said as one of his small hands moved up to grab Danny’s hoodie. “He broke some of Vivi’s crayons.” 

Danny let out a sigh and nodded. “That’s a shame… Why did he do it,” Danny asked, hoping that his son would tell him. It was unlike Brad to lash out around other people. 

“Don’t know,” he said and leaned back into Danny’s chest, snuggling up as close as he could. “I’ve missed you, Papa.” 

There was a pang of guilt in Danny’s chest. He felt bad, he’d been so stuck in his own head for the past day and a half that he hadn’t thought about the effect it would have on the kids, but more specifically Dylan. The little rascal was almost always attached to his side. 

It was as if on cue, Julian came walking into the living room with a crying Brad. “What happened,” Danny asked, eyes wide at Julian cradling their almost four year old son. 

Julian shook his head as Brad seemed to hold on to him tighter. “He’s just… I think he’s just over tired,” he said quietly. “Gisele said he wouldn’t go down for a nap today.” 

Danny nodded. “Sh-Should we go home then,” he asked, meeting Julian’s blue eyes as Julian sat next to him. 

Julian shook his head. “No, I think we should be here. We’ll be with our friends and family.” 

Danny nodded. “O-Okay… Hey Dyl, do you wanna go get Papa a bottle of water from the kitchen? It’s still kinda hard for me to move too fast,” he said, looking down at Dylan. 

“Yes! Uncle Tommy has a lot,” Dylan informed with wide eyes as he climbed off of Danny and jumped off the couch. 

Danny chuckled at Dylan, then turned to Julian and Brad. He rubbed a hand up and down his back. “Why did you break Vivi’s crayons today,” he asked, meeting his sons blue eyes. 

“I-I didn’t mean to! I didn’t! I-I was coloring and… And I… they snapped,” he said though tears. “I didn’t mean to!” 

Julian and Danny exchanged looks. Danny let out a sigh. “It’s okay this time, but we will have to get her some new crayons, okay? Did you tell her you were sorry,” Julian asked, causing his son to look back to him. 

Brad bit his lip and nodded at Julian. “Y-Yes, Daddy. I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Julian’s bicep. 

Julian held him close and let out a sigh. “It’s alright bud. Just don’t do it again, okay?” He had the softest look on his face as he looked down at their oldest child. 

Brad bit his lip and nodded. Dylan tearing back into the room, with the Brady’s dog running in tore Danny from his thoughts. Dylan moved up and shoved a bottle of water to Danny, “Here Papa!” 

Danny shot his son a fake smile and took the bottle of water. “Thank you, buddy,” he said as the dog sat there and looked up at them, his tail noisily hitting the ground. “Why don’t you pet him, buddy?” 

Dylan nodded and slid onto the ground with a large smile and began petting the puppy. “Brad! Come pet the puppy!” He exclaimed, completely oblivious as to his brothers state. 

Danny couldn’t help but be thankful for his son slightly flipping his mood around… Little did he know, the worst was yet to come…

*** 

“Papa,” Dylan screamed from downstairs, causing Danny let let out a loud sigh and put the pants he was folding down on the bed. 

“What’s up bud,” he called as he slowly got up and began to make his way toward the steps. When he got there, Dylan was standing at the bottom, big brown eyes wide. 

“When will Daddy be getting home?! He’s been gone so long,” he exclaimed. Danny couldn’t help but feel his heart warm a little at the sight of his dark haired son standing there in his Thomas the Engine pajamas with his hair in tons of different directions. 

“He’s at practice, buddy,” Danny said. “He should be home in an hour or so. Are you and Brad okay coloring down there?” 

Dylan nodded rapidly. “Yeah… We are getting hungry, too… Just so you know,” he said, now swaying from foot to foot. 

“Alright,” Danny said. “Let me finish with your clothes, then I’ll head down there and start getting lunch ready for all of us. How does that sound?” 

“Okay, Papa! Love you,” Dylan said, then rushed off to the kitchen where Danny had set up coloring pages for them. 

The day before, Julian and Danny took them to see Etha for the first time. They’d brought pictures to hang up in his room so he would be happy. They’d also decided to color him photos again this morning because thanksgiving was just a few days away, and they thought colorful turkeys would be a great gift for him for the holiday. 

Danny made his way back to the bedroom, where he finished folding what was left of Julian’s stuff. 

Today marked 21 days since he had Ethan, and he was healing quite nicely. The doctor said that he’d be able to start up on some light workouts a few days after Thanksgiving, and would maybe he able to play for the last game of the season because there was no tearing during the birth. He was quite thankful for possibly being able to play football again. It would mean he would get one of his distractions back. 

Once he was done putting all of the clothes away, he made his way downstairs. “Wow guys, your pictures look great,” he said as he looked over what the two had done for their younger brother. Bradley managed to color his turkey purple, blue, yellow, and red. Dylan on the other hand, he was drawing an assortment of gords, pumpkins, and corn. Those were the colors of blue, green, pink, and red. 

“Thanks Papa! Do you want me to color you one after lunch,” Dylan asked, putting down his crayon. 

“That would be great buddy. Bradley, are you going to color one for Daddy too? I think he’d love a picture from you, too,” he said as he moved over toward the fridge. 

“Can I draw another for Baby Ethan,” he asked as he moved aside his colored turkey. His big blue eyes, that looked much like Julian’s, were looking back at Danny— full of hope. 

Danny let out a sigh and nodded. “Sure, Bud, if you want to. Daddy and I can bring those to him when we visit today,” he said as he moved over to grab a pot for the sloppy joe he was about to make. 

“Yes please! When will we see him again, Papa,” Dylan popped back in, as he began coloring a picture of a pilgrim for Danny. 

“Probably for thanksgiving,” Danny said as he pulled out the can of sloppy joe. “He’s been getting better. By Christmas we should be able to hold him. But only if we stay healthy and wash our hands.” 

Dylan put his crayon down and slid out of the chair he was in, then ran off to the bathroom yelling, “I’ll go wash my hands now!” 

Danny leaned back against the counter and chuckled. “Do you want to go wash your hands too,” he asked nodding toward the bathroom. 

Brad only nodded rapidly before running off after his brother. 

Before the boys could come back, there was the latter of feet and “Daddy”’s being yelled. “Hey guys,” Julian said as he dropped his bag and picked both of his boys up. “Were you guys good for Papa today?” 

Danny turned around to see a very happy, yet tired, Julian making his way into the kitchen. “Hey Bubs, how are ya today,” he asked with a smile on his face. 

“Okay,” Danny replied. Julian slid the two boys into their seats and made his way over to Danny. He smiled as he put his hands on Danny’s hips and leaned in for a kiss. 

They pulled away from each other and smiled. “You’re makin’ Sloppy Joes, huh?” 

Danny nodded. “Yeah, the boys asked for ‘em,” Danny said as he began to heat the stuff up.

“I’m going to head up stairs and change real quick, okay,” Julian said as he let out a sigh and made his way out of the kitchen. 

Danny nodded in response. 

“Hey babe, your phone is ringing,” Julian called as he bounded down the steps a few minutes lasted. He moved over to Danny and handed him the phone. 

Without looking at the caller ID, he clicked answer and brought the phone up to his ear. “Hello?” 

“You’ve finally picked up,” the female voice said on the other end. Danny was suddenly confused. “Julian must have his phone off right now…” 

It took his a second to register the voice on the other end of the line, but when he did, he dropped the sodden spoon in his hand and his eyes went wide. “A-Ashley?” 

“I’m sorry Danny, but I need you and Julian to come in as soon as possible,” her voice came through. She herself, did not sound all that calm. 

Danny sucked in a long breath and let his eyes fall shut. He leaned forward against the counter to make sure he didn’t fall. “Please don’t tell me,” he whispered. 

“We… We just… Please come in, Danny,” was all that came though. “I’ll be waiting for you…” 

 

Danny let out a huff and nodded. “Y-Yeah,” he whispered and pulled the phone from his ear. 

Julian was right up next to him within seconds. Without opening his eyes he could feel the younger man’s presence. “Was… Was that…” 

Danny put his phone down and held the edges of the counter so hard his knuckles turned white. “We need to go,” he said quietly. 

Rob, being the saint he was, managed to get there to watch the boys. Julian managed to get Danny into the car and they were at the hospital in the total of 45 minutes after the call. 

Danny had made it the entire time without shedding a single tear. He was mute. He was beyond thankful for Julian for he way we kept the family moving. 

When they arrived, Ashley was waiting at the front desk of the NICU for them. “Hi guys,” she said softly. “Please follow me.” 

Danny held onto Julian’s hand extremely tight as they followed Ashley to her office. The two sat down and waited for the younger woman to start talking. 

Both men’s hearts were pounding. As they looked ahead at her. 

“At 12:03 Ethan stopped breathing, and despite our best efforts, we were not able to bring him back. I cannot express how sorry I am…” 

Danny’s whole world stopped. He saw her lips moving, but couldn’t register a thing. He felt the blood drain from his face. Suddenly he couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital. He desperately needed to go somewhere that he could breath, the walls were closing in on him. 

“C-Can we see him,” Julian asked from next to him, pulling Danny out of his thoughts. From one look at Julian, he could tell Julian was ready to burst into tears. 

Ashley nodded as she stood from her spot. “Follow me,” she whispered. 

Danny didn’t want to go with, but he knew Julian needed him as much as he needed Julian, so he got up as well.

His heart pounded more and more with every step toward their sons room. They moved into the room, where they had a sheet covering the incubator their son was lying in. 

Ashley pulled back the sheet, revealing their sons lifeless body. 

Danny’s world went black.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yo! Dola! You’re back for training,” Ryan Allen greeted Danny as he shuffled into the gym at Gillette three weeks before Christmas. “It’s great to see ya back here!” 
> 
> Danny gave Ryan a brief nod. “Thanks man. It’s nice to be back. I need to work on getting back in shape if I want to be back for the last two weeks,” he said as he moved over to the weights. “All I’ve been able to do that past few weeks is bike, and that gets old real quick.” 
> 
> Ryan nodded. “I bet. I’m ready to get back out there, this pulled groin is so damn annoying,” Ryan said, then trailed off a bit, just looking at Danny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is completely unedited, much like the first chapter.

“Uncle Tom,” Dylan asked as Tom carried him toward the car at the cemetery. His big brown eyes looked up at Tom, full of wonder. 

“What’s up, buddy,” Tom asked, his soft blue eyes looking down at Dylan. He would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t cry. 

He had kids, and he never wanted to know what it would be like to lose any of them— he couldn’t imagine the pain it would cause. It hurt him to know that two of his best friends had to go through such a horrific thing. If he was being honest, the Edelman/Amendola Family was like his family. Both Dylan and Brad were like his own, and when he found out about Ethan, he was just as excited. He knew family came first, which was why he’d be happier to have either Julian or Danny off for their children than to be playing football. 

“Why are Papà and Daddy so sad,” he asked. He held on to Tom’s black coat as tight as he could. 

Tom came to a dead stop. What was he supposed to say? The little guy had no grasp on what was going on around him, of course he didn’t, he was just short of being two years old. 

He let out a sigh and began walking again. “Baby Ethan will no longer be around and they’re very sad about it,” Tom finally said as he got to the car, where Gisele was waiting with a very tired Vivian and Benny. 

Dylan tilted his head. “Why won’t he be around? He should love Papa and Daddy,” he replied, confusion beginning to fill his eyes. 

Tom let out a sigh as he put Dylan down on the ground and squatted in front of him. “He had to go to his family up in heaven,” Tom finally said, looking into the eyes that were much like Danny’s. 

“But we are his family,” Dylan said, scrunching his eyebrows together. 

Tom pointed to the sky briefly. “Yes we are, but in heaven, he’ll be safe. And you’ll see him again one day,” Tom replied and let out a sigh. “He’ll always be in here.” He pointed right at Dylan’s heart. 

“You mean like how he was growing in Papa’s belly,” he asked, tilting his head. “Uncle Tom, can you go to heaven in a hot air balloon?” 

Tom shook his head, “Unfortunately not buddy… Why don’t we head home? We can have whatever you choose for dinner,” Tom said as he ruffled the youngsters dark hair and directed him toward the back of the car. 

*** 

“So little dude,” Rob said as he looked up at Bradley through the rear view mirror. “What are you thinking about for dinner. You can pick what ya want!” 

Brad crosses his arms over his chest and looked ahead at Rob with icy blue eyes. “Nothing,” he mumbled and shook his head. “I want nothing.” 

“Well you’ve gotta eat something,” Rob said as he stopped at the stop light and looked back at youngen in his back seat. “I’m not kidding, you choose what you want. I’m not on a diet today.” 

“I want nothing,” Bradley short back, his voice as cold as his yes. “I’m not hungry.” He turned to look out the window, thinking that Rob would just stand down. 

The weather outside was completely different than the feeling everyone had in their hearts that day.it was 40, which was the warmest day of the week, and after a brief rain shower early in the morning, the sun came out and was just beginning to set. 

“Come on, you’ve gotta eat something… Don’t you want to make Daddy and Papa proud by getting ready to play football in a few years,” Rob reasoned as he turned back toward the road and began driving again. “I think they’d be so happy!” 

Brad rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Not hungry,” was all he said.

The rest of the ride to Rob’s was silent. Once he turned the car off, he got out and moved around to Brad so he could help him out if his car seat. Before he officially let the toddler out, he caged him into the seat, not letting him move. “Bud, you have gotta eat, it’s not good for you,” he said, his brown eyes looking right into Bradley’s. “I am willing to get you anything you want.” 

Rob couldn’t help but curse Jules and Danny for having a kid with Jules’ eyes. The icieness of them scared the shit out of him whether it was a 30 something year old man or a toddler, it didn’t matter. 

“Wendy's?” Rob asked, trying to get to kid to say something, anything. “Burger King? Dunkin’? Hardee’s? Arby’s?” He wa starting to panic. “Tim Hortons?” Did he really just offer something that was a couple hours away? 

Brad’s face stayed stone cold. “McDonalds,” Rob spat out, eyes widening. 

There it was. Brad’s face softened at that one. “How about we go to the play place? And you can play there? Does that sound okay?” 

After a few seconds, the toddler finally nodded. “Fine.” 

Rob smiled. “This won’t disappoint, bud! I know it won’t! What could go wrong at McDonalds!?” 

A half hour after the two had gotten to McDonalds, Rob was finally able to sit down with Brad after signing autographs and taking pictures. 

“What kinda toy you got there, bud,” he asked as he watched Brad pull the things out of his happy meal box. “Woah! It’s that a little rabbit key chain! That’s so cool!” 

Brad’s blue eyes looked up at Rob and he nodded. “Yeah, I’m gonna give it to Ethan. He won’t always have friends, so I’ll put it at the place where we left him today,” he said. 

Rob let out a sigh. “That’s really nice of you, Bud. I think he’ll appreciate that,” Rob replied with a soft smile on his face. 

“I think he deserves it. He didn’t deserve to be killed,” Brad said looking down at his apple slices. 

Rob’s eyebrows shot up, shocked that Brad just said that. He didn’t know what to reply to that so he looked around trying to find something to say. “Did you know they used to have a ball pit at McDonalds?” 

Brad tilted his head to the side, confusion covering his face. “What’s a ball pit?” 

*** 

Danny let out a sigh as he sat down at their kitchen island and loosened his tie. It was a long day. They’d just gotten back from the burial of Ethan, and while Julian went straight up stairs to change from his clothes, Danny stayed downstairs, not wanting to move. 

He put both of his elbows on the counter and tangled his fingers in his hair, pulling at the dark strands with with seemed like all of his strength. Just as Ethan was getting better, he stopped breathing out of the blue— Just as Danny was getting better, his son passed. 

Who knew that someone, something, as little as Ethan could leave such a big impact with his passing? In the four days that they had been without Ethan, Danny hardly slept, getting a combined total of 10 hours. 

Every time his eyes fell shut, he was haunted by images of Ethan and the boys when they were all  
older. In his dreams, Ethan turned out to be a fine young man. Even though he was slightly different than his brothers— needed glasses, had asthma, and was more of a school than sports kid— it was clear that he was an Amendola. He, much like Dylan, had the dark hair and facial structure to prove it… the only Give away that he was an Edelman was the eyes. In some way, his eyes were even icier than Brad’s. 

Danny didn’t know much else, though, he’d jolt awake in a cold sweat the minute he got to the point of meeting his youngest son's eyes. 

After getting dressed, Julian made his way down the steps and into the kitchen, where Danny still sat in his black slacks and black dress shirt. “Dola,” Julian said upon seeing Danny’s slouching figure sitting there. “Why don’t you go change? I can make the food your mom left for us in the fridge.”

Danny’s mom made the two of them a large pan of lasagna, knowing it was one of Danny’s favorite comfort foods. 

When Danny didn’t respond, Julian moved in closer, sliding into the seat next to his boyfriend. “Are you okay?” 

Danny let out a sigh and pulled his hands from his hair, dark eyes meeting Julian’s. “He can’t be gone. He just can’t be. H-He was so beautiful in all  
My dreams! He was a fine young man!” He said in a shaky voice, but not tears followed. He’d cried just about all that he could in the past month. 

Julian let out a sigh and shook his head, pulling Danny into him. “I-I know it’s hard,” he mumbled in a shaky voice. “There isn’t anything we can do now, Bubs… We… We just gotta pick up and move on.” 

Danny shook his head as he rested his head against Julian’s chest. “Everything was finally getting better! What’d we do wrong to deserve this, Jules?” He shook his head and pulled away, looking back at Julian. “It’s killing me. That little boy that’s 10 feet under didn’t deserve this!” 

Julian just sighed and rubbed soothing circles up and down Danny’s back. “It’s what the man upstairs has planned for us,” Julian finally said, causing Danny’s dark eyes to flick back to his. 

“It’s because I didn’t want him. It’s because all I cared about was football,” Danny concluded with a sigh. “I’m a terrible being.” 

“Hey, no, no you’re not! We all have tough times, but you were finding your way with it! There is no way it’s your fault! You wouldn’t be tested if you couldn’t take it,” Julian reasoned. 

Danny pulled out of Julian’s arms, not saying a word because he wasn’t in the mood to protest. He made his way upstairs and into their all familiar bedroom, where he slid under the covers and prayed that tomorrow would somehow be better. 

*** 

“Yo! Dola! You’re back for training,” Ryan Allen greeted Danny as he shuffled into the gym at Gillette three weeks before Christmas. “It’s great to see ya back here!” 

Danny gave Ryan a brief nod. “Thanks man. It’s nice to be back. I need to work on getting back in shape if I want to be back for the last two weeks,” he said as he moved over to the weights. “All I’ve been able to do that past few weeks is bike, and that gets old real quick.” 

Ryan nodded. “I bet. I’m ready to get back out there, this pulled groin is so damn annoying,” Ryan said, then trailed off a bit, just looking at Danny. 

It wasn’t very hard to know what Ryan wanted to ask… In the two weeks since Ethan has passed, almost everyone and anyone wanted to ask how he was holding up, if he was okay. And quite honestly? Now that he was able to work out and think about football, he did feel better. It was nice to have that distraction there. It was one that her certainly missed. 

He was also thankful that he was at stuck at home with the boys so much. While, yes, losing Ethan did make him realize just how grateful he was for his two healthy boys, he was thankful to finally have some time away from them. Time to talk to more adults than just Tom, Rob, and Julian. 

Danny let out a sigh and gave Ryan a ‘really?’ Look. “You can ask, man, I won’t be offended,” he mumbled as he looked down, then back up to Ryan. 

Ryan shook his head in return. “Just know that we’re always here for ya man. We look forward to having you on the field as soon as possible,” he finally said, grasping Danny’s shoulder tightly. “We’ve really missed you out there!”

For what seemed like the first time in a long time, Danny shot Ryan a genuine smile. “Thanks man, I’ve really missed being out there,” he replied patting Ryan on his shoulder. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m ready to start my road to recovery.” 

It felt good to smile. Danny was happy that football was just as he remembered it. He moved over to the treadmill and began his road to recovery. 

About two hours later, Julian came shuffling into the gym looking extremely tired. “Hey Bubs, are ya ready to go yet? Your mom said she was only available until noon, it’s already 11:15,” Julian said as he approached Danny. 

Danny was too suck in workout land to realize, or care, that Julian had come. He was feeling amazing-- he felt like he was flying. 

“Danny,” Julian yelled from the entrance to the room, surprised that Danny was oblivious to him. “Danny!” He still got nothing. Julian let out a sigh and moved further into the room, stopping right at the side of the treadmill. “Dola, we should probably get going!” 

Danny’s brown eyes went wide as he stopped the machine and looked down at his boyfriend. “How… What time is it,” he asked, big brown eyes wide. 

“11:15, we need to pick the kids up from your mom’s,” Julian said, looking up at Danny with content eyes. 

He felt terrible. This was the best Danny had looked since before the beginning of his pregnancy, and he was having to tear him out of that happiness. He didn’t want to cut Danny’s happiness short. His heart broke as Danny’s shoulders slumped a bit. “Okay,” the older man practically whispered. “I’ll go jump in the shower.” 

*** 

Danny let out a sigh as he sat down on the couch and leaned back against the plush cushions. Physically, he was feeling great, he was happy that he was finally able to work his body out. Mentally, though, that was a completely different story. It was like the second he walked out of that gym that morning, there was a dark cloud looming over his head.

Part of him felt like it was Ethan’s ghost hanging over him, haunting him for the way he treated his body during pregnancy as well as not wanting him. It was by far one of the number one things Danny was guilty for; he wished he hadn’t put football in front of his body, or his child. 

That was something he would have to look past if he were to ever fall pregnant again. The thought of being pregnant again made his heart race. With the chance of a repeat of what their lives had been for the past month, he didn’t know if he could do it.

Losing one son was already hard enough. He didn’t know what he’d ever do if he were to get pregnant again. He knew he’d buck up and stick though it, no matter how hard it was on him, but he didn’t think he could deal with the pain of not knowing if the baby would be able to make it. 

His doctors, as well as Ashley, already informed him that if he were to ever try again, it would be nearly impossible-- meaning a 5% chance-- that he’d ever be able to carry to term. That scared him. A premature birth was what got them in this predicament in the first place. 

In the next few months, he and Julian would have to decide one of the hardest things they’d ever have to decide-- was it time for Danny to get his tubes tied? That meant they wouldn’t be welcoming another baby into their house… 

There was no way in hell Danny would ever make Julian carry again. He knew how Julian felt about it, and he respected that. 

“Papa! Gramma Rose gave me this today,” Dylan said, excitedly, as he ran inside the house, after Julian had gotten him and Brad out of their carseats. 

Danny pulled from his thoughts and looked toward his sun running in with a photograph. Dylan crawled up on the couch next to Danny and showed Danny the photo. Danny grabbed it and looked down at it in shock-- it was a picture of him as a kid, of course in a Patriots shirt. 

“Why did she give it to you,” he asked as he studied it. He looked so happy in the photo. He had to be about four or five, and he just had the biggest smile on his face. 

“She told me I looked just like you! She also said she misses you being happy. And I told her I missed you being happy too,” he told Danny, his big brown eyes full of caringness. 

Danny sucked in a breath as he handed the photo back to Dylan. “Why…. Why don’t you go put this photo in your room, then we can color a bit,” he offered.

Dylan instantly nodded. “Yes! Please!” He jumped off the couch and instantly ran up the steps to his room. 

*** 

“It’s nice to have some time away from the kids,” Julian said as he sat down on the couch next to Danny. 

They’d just finished dinner and the super bowl was about to start. Danny sighed, but nodded. 

He’d been back training for two full months, and was ready for the last week of the season. Unfortunately, the team was knocked out of the playoffs in the second round, leaving Danny with just training to distract him once again. 

The pain of losing Ethan still sat deep in his chest; however, it seemed to be a little easier to get up every morning. Thankfully the two months since his passing whipped by, and now the couple was able to grab one of their first kid-free nights. 

“I guess,” Danny whispered. “I’m kinda missing the little rascals.” His voice was soft as he leaned into Julian. 

This was a much needed ‘them night’. The two had constantly been at each others necks since football was done, and they needed some time away from the normal pressures of life-- so football, the kids, and quite honestly, their thoughts. 

Julian draped his arm over Danny’s shoulder and pulled the older man into him. He was thankful for this. It was one of the first times he got Danny to sit down long enough to relax and there was no way he was going to reject snuggling with the love of his life. 

The two sat there through the first quarter of the game, not talking much, just enjoyed each other's company. It wasn't until about three minutes into the second, Danny’s breath became shaky, which made Julian look down at him. “You okay, bubs,” Julian asked looking down to meet Danny’s brown eyes. 

Danny shuffled uncomfortably, trying not to look down at the growing situation in his shorts, but Julian caught on, his icy blue eyes drifting down to see the bulge in Danny’s pants. “O-Oh,” Julian said, his eyes going wide. 

This was the first time since Julian could remember, that Danny was showing any time of sign of being turned on. Before Julian could say anything, he felt his manhood starting to grow. “Uh… Oh… Uhm…” 

Julian had no clue what happened next, but hot lips clashed into his, and he instantly melted into them. This was the first time he and Danny had a heated kiss in such a long time, no way in hell was he going to stand down. 

His hands moved up and ran through the older man’s dark hair, trying his hardest to deepen the kiss. Danny let out a moan, pushing Julian further back against the cushions. “Need you in bed,” Danny mumbled, briefly pulling his lips from Julian’s. 

It was like Julian was paralyzed as he stared up into those big brown eyes. He’d been waiting so long to hear that again. 

Before he knew it, Danny had ahold of his hand and was directing him up the stairs and into their bedroom. Danny pushed Julian back on the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his newly toned abs. 

Julian’s breath hitched as he looked up at Danny. The older man was so sexy, so perfect. His skin was so smooth, so tanned, so… Danny smashed his lips into Julians again as his hands dragged down Julian’s sides and found the hem of his shirt. 

Within seconds, he was breaking the kiss and dragging Julian’s shirt up. He rolled his hips down and pulled away, looking down at Julian with a loving look. The feeling bubbling deep in Danny’s stomach was welcomed as he shimmied his shorts and and boxers down in one quick movement. 

He didn’t want to waste anytime. He couldn’t… He wanted… No needed this. He dipped down, licking a stripe up Julian’s abdomen, up his chest, up his throat, just to catched Julian’s hot, swollen lips again. 

As Danny nibbled at the younger man’s lips, he dipped his skilled right hand down into Julian’s shorts. Much to his surprise, he was wearing no boxers. Danny gasped against Julian’s lips as his hand moved down, wrapping around Julian’s already almost too hard member. 

Julian let out a soft moan and bucked his hips up. Danny instantly pushed them back down then began placing kisses down The younger man’s neck. As the stubble tickled his lips, the feeling went straight to his dick. His hand tightened on Julian, causing the younger man to let out an inhumane sound. 

“D-Danny,” Julian let out. And god, the tone of his voice turned Danny on even more. 

Danny wasn’t going to last much longer. He tore his lips from Julian’s neck and yanked Jules’ shorts down, letting his member spring free. 

“Need to be inside you,” Danny whispered as he dipped down and licked a stripe up Julian’s length. His tongue swirled around Julian’s head. 

The younger man’s hand moved down to grasp the comforter, twisting it. It was amazing it didn’t tear under his touch. 

All the knowledge of how to properly fuck his partner were out of Danny’s mind. He leaned over to the nightside table and pulled out a condom, tearing it open with his teeth. 

He looked down at Julian, who was looking back up at him with wide eyes. The younger man needed him as much as he needed Julian. 

Danny rolled the condom on, slicked up Julian’s precome, lined himself up, then drilled into the younger man without warning. 

“Danny!” Julian screamed, tensing around Danny. “Oh my god.” 

It probably wasn’t the best decision, as Julian threw his head out in pain, but Danny was determined to turn that look into a pleasurable one. As he began thrusting in and out of his partner, he couldn’t help but feel like all of his frustrations were being let out. 

He pounded in, nearly pulled all the way out, then slammed in as hard as he could— needing to feel the dominance… Needing to feel like he had control for once. 

“P-Please… D-Danny,” Julian groaned out, not sounding pleasured at all. 

Danny hadn’t even realized he closed his eyes. Not wanting to stop, he continued. His hands moved down to grasp Julian’s member again. Upon barely touching it, Julian exploded, clenching around Danny. 

That was Danny’s undoing. With the scream Julian let out he released and collapsed on the younger man, not bothering to pull out. 

It was later that night, as the two began to drift off, covered in Julian’s come, and each other’s sweat that Danny realized what they’d done wasn’t love— in fact he couldn’t remember the last time they’d said that word to each other. 

Before he could think too deep about it, he fell into a deep sleep. 

*** 

“So what do you guys to do for your birthday,” Danny asked the boys as he helped Dylan cup up his pancake. “Uncle Tom, Aunt Gisele, Vivi, Benny, Uncle Rob, Uncle Ryan, Aunt Nicki, Grandma Rose, Grandma and grandpa Edelman and even Uncle Matt are coming over to celebrate with us. 

Brad looked up at Danny with big blue eyes as he chewed on his pancake. He never really got to see the much of family that was related to them by blood. He only really remembered seeing some of them at Ethan’s funeral. 

Dylan, however, he was surprised to hear many of those names. He’d met most of them, but never more than just a quick hi from Nicki, and as for Julian’s parents, he only saw them once a year. 

He’d never met his Uncle Matt. Danny’s brother was always extremely busy with his work and family, so he had a very tight schedule. 

“I wanna go to Ethan’s,” Brad said, nearly causing Danny to drop the fork in his hand. “He deserves to be there with us too!”

Dylan looked across the table and looked at his older brother like he was absolutely insane. “We can’t do that. Not even a hot air balloon will bring us to him,” Dylan quickly jumped in. He was shaking his head. 

Brad shook his head in return. “No! Wanna fonto where we left him,” he shouted at his younger brother. “He deserves to be played with!” 

“He left us! We can’t play with him! Uncle Tom told  
me so,” Dylan said back. 

“Hey, guys, lets no-,” Danny was cut off by Bradley wailing out a loud cry. 

“No! We will see him! I want him to be at the party! He deserves to be with us! He should not have been killed,” Brad screamed, his big blue eyes filling with tears. 

Danny stood there in shock looking between his two sons. Dylan was seconds from bawling his eyes out, and his lips were quivering. He reached forward and swooped his youngest out the the chair, trying to keep him calm. 

“Brad, Bud,” Danny said softly. “No one killed him. He just wasn’t strong enough. If you want to go on your birthday, then we can go on your birthday.” Danny moved up behind Brad and rubbed his back soothingly. 

“As for you,” he said and looked down at his youngest, still bouncing him in his arm. “On your birthday we can do whatever you choose… Okay?” Tears fell from Dylan’s eyes as he hit his lip and nodded. 

A few days later, despite not wanting to being anywhere near Ethan’s grave, Danny was pulling Dylan out of his car seat while Julian was helping Bradley out. 

Bradley held his McDonalds toy as well as a picture he drew right in his hands as the four of them made their ways toward Ethan’s grave. Brad pulled ahead and moved to sit down next to the headstone. 

“Brad, we told you not to sit down in the grass, it’s all muddy,” Julian said and let out a sigh.

Brad looked up at Julian and shrugged. “I’m trying to be as close to him as possible,” Brad replied then looked back to Danny, who was standing there with an emotionless look on his face. 

Dylan was relaxing in Danny’s arms, his head resting on his father's chest, ready to fall asleep. Danny let out a sigh. “We can’t stay out here too long, Buddy. We’ve gotta set up for everyone to come celebrate your guys’ birthday!” 

If Danny was being honestly, he couldn’t wait to get back home. This was the last place he wanted to be. 

*** 

“Where are my birthday boys,” Angie Edelman gushed as she burst through the couples front door. Her husband, Frank, was hot on her heels, carrying an arm full of gifts. 

Dylan and Brad jumped up from their spots on the couch and ran over to her. “Gramma!” They screeched as she squatted down to hold her arms out for them. 

She pulled them into her arms and kissed both of their heads. “Hey boys! How are you?” 

“Missed you,” Dylan shot back with the biggest smile on his face. He leaned in and place a little kiss on her cheek. 

“Gramma! It’s been long,” Brad said with a big smile still on his face. “Missed you!” 

“I’ve missed you too, Bud! Where are Papa and Daddy?” She asked looking into the blue eyes of her grandson. 

“Da kitchen,” Dylan jumped in. “They were yelling!” 

Angie gave them a confused look. 

Frank made his way into the kitchen, where he placed the gifts they had down on the table. “I cannot believe you right now,” Danny said as he looked down at the cake Julian had just gotten home with. 

He looked at the younger man, completely dumbfounded. “Don’t you ever listen to me, Julian? You had four jobs and you only did two of them,” Danny complained as he looked down at the cake in front of him. “You didn't get footballs for Dylan put on it, you didn’t get the correct size, and you didn’t get the color frosting the boys wanted!” 

Julian let out a sigh. “I’m sorry… I thought I was getting the right size! We don’t have that many people coming,” Julian replies, helpless. 

Danny let out a huff and rolled his eyes. “You’re unbelievable,” he grumbled as he moved back to the potato salad he was finishing up. “They will not be happy when they see that cake.” He grumbled. 

“I’m sorry,” Julian whispered as he turned around and let out a sigh. “Oh,” he said, eyes brightening, “Hey Dad.”

Frank shot his son a smile and moved up to him. “Hey son, how are you,” Frank said as he moved forward and brought Julian in for a tight hug. 

“I’m okay,” Julian responded with a small smile “Where’s Ma?” 

“Oh you know, she’s greeting her grandkids. She’s been talking about about them all week,” Frank replied with a chuckle. 

There was the sound a squealing coming from the living room. “Come on, I've gotta Greet the guests,” Julian said as he moved into the living room, pulling his father along with him. 

Standing in the doorway was Danny’s mom and Danny’s brother, Matt. “Hey guys!” He greeted with a smile. 

He pulled Rose in for a hug and then went to shake Matt’s hand, firmly. “Hey man! How are ya,” Matt greeted with a smile that was much like Danny’s. 

Julian’s heart ached. It had been so long since he saw a smile like that from Danny— He Missed it. 

“I’m alright, how are you? It’s been so long,” Julian said with a smile. “Dola has been looking forward to seeing you.” 

Matt smiled. “Where is that little brother of mine? It’s been almost a year and a half,” he said, the largest smile on his face. 

“He’s uh… He’s in the kitchen, why don’t you head in there? Then you’ll have to meet Dyl… he’s been pretty excited to meet you,” Julian said with a smile. 

Matt nodded and moved toward the kitchen to greet his brother. 

An hour later, Dylan and Matt had met and Dyl wouldn’t leave his uncle alone. He was just like Danny, but what made him so awed by Matt was the amount of real happiness that he had. 

The rest of the day somehow went smooth, despite the fact that there was a clear tension between Julian and Danny that everyone could see. Most of the day, they were exchanging looks, disagreeing on anything and everything. 

Later that night, the two fell into bed, ready to fall asleep. For Danny, it was a long day of trying to be happy so he wouldn’t ruin the day for his sons. But for Julian? It was a day full of a moody Danny, a lot of people, and being yelled at for every other thing he did. 

Julian was able to fall right asleep, but Danny was not. He slid out of bed at midnight and shuffled into the kitchen, where he grabbed the whiskey from the top shelf. A shot or two had become a habit in the past two weeks to help him sleep. And fuck, it really stopped him from thinking, too. 

*** 

“I’m so glad the Tom and Gisele took the boys,” Danny mumbled as he crashed back on the couch and let out a long sigh. “Finally get some time to relax. They’ve been handfuls with their birthdays.” 

Julian nodded from next to Danny. “Yeah. They’ve been absolutely crazy lately. I’m glad that we’re finally able to relax.” 

“Imagine what it would be like if Ethan was still with us,” Danny mumbled and shook his head. “Do you think he’d be out of the hospital already?” 

Julian looked toward Danny and let out a sigh. “Why is it every single time I think you’re doing better, you mention him and you go right back into the dumps?” Julian asked, blue eyes meeting Danny’s. 

“Because he was dealt shitty cards, Julian. We were felt shitty cards,” Danny shot back. “He… Our son… He may be gone, but he sure as hell is not forgotten. What about you, huh? You’re always too stuck in your own goddamn world to see the way we all feel!” 

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Julian asked, his voice a little louder than Danny’s. 

“You’ve lost your son, and Jesus Christ Julian, it feels like I’ve gone through so much of this alone! Not once have you shown any emotion since Ethan passed,” Danny shot at him. “You make me feel so fucking stupid for actually caring… and… And you just…” Danny sucked in a breath, trying not to lose his composure. 

“I What?” Julian jumped in. “I’ve been trying so goddamn hard to keep this family together while you’ve sat around-- not wanting to do a thing half the time. You think it's easy on me to be with someone who doesn’t like to leave the house? Someone who has forgotten how to live life just because one bad thing happened to them?” Julian scoffed as he moved up from the couch and began to pace the floor. 

“You don’t even act like you care Julian, when was the last time you offered for me to go out with you, rather than you just leaving to go god knows where? Huh? You realize we haven't said “I love you” in months? Huh?” 

Julian growled as he turned around and moved toward Danny, looking down at his with fire in his eyes. “That fucking goes both ways, Danny. And you fucking know it! It seems like anytime you want to talk to me now days is because you want to start a fucking fight,” Julian shouted back. “Maybe if you were more open minded we wouldn't be in this predicament! Maybe our son would still be alive! Maybe we could’ve made it to the superbowl. And maybe we could still care for each other. Instead all we’ve done was be torn apart.” 

Danny glared up at the younger man and got up off the couch so he was face to face with him. “Don’t you dare fucking put that on me, Julian. You’re fucking lucky shit didn’t happen to Brad when you had him. Last time I checked you acted the same was I did. And while that wasn’t necessarily right of me, you shouldn’t be fucking throwing that in my face,” Danny shouted, bringing a finger up and poking it into Julian’s chest. 

Julian lightly shoved at Danny, causing Danny to stumble back. “You know what,” he let out once he got his balance back. His dark eyes were even darker than normal. “You can get the fuck out of this house. I’m not dealing with your piece of shit attitude anymore. I’m done… We’re done.” 

Julian rolled his eyes and spit at Danny. He literally spit at him, causing Danny to become even more angry. “That’s fucking fine. It’s clear whatever we have here isn’t love anymore. I’ll grab my stuff and I’ll be on my merry way,” Julian spat at Danny as he stomped up the stairs. 

“Good,” Danny barked as he made his way toward the kitchen. He really needed a fucking drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will get better eventually...


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian nodded. “Think I should head over now, then,” he asked, a little bit of hope sparking in his chest. 
> 
> Gisele looked back out at the kids and nodded. “Yeah, before they realize you’ve left without them,” she said. “I’ll make sure they stay preoccupied.” 
> 
> “Thank you so much,” Julian said as he moved over to pull her into a tight hug. “I really appreciate it. You and Tom have done so much for us.” 
> 
> She hugged him back tightly and then pulled away, brushing a bit of hair off his forehead. “It’s no problem. You guys are family, you should know that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Completely and totally unedited.

Julian let out a long sigh as he walked up to the Brady’s door and pounded on it. Tears were still running down his face as he stood there, hoping that Tom and Gisele were still awake. It was long after all the kids’ bedtimes, so he wouldn’t have to worry about the kids seeing him in the shitty state that he was. 

After a minute or two, a very tired looking Tom was pulling to the door open. Julian forgot that the deer that he was he’d go to bed at nine most nights. “Jules? What’s wrong,” Tom asked, the sleep almost instantly leaving his eyes. “Come in, man.” He moved aside so the younger man could move past him. 

Julian moved in and sat down on the couch. “Danny broke up with me,” Julian said, before Tom could sit down. “I fucked it up. We were just sitting down to relax and he mentioned that it was nice to have a night without the boys.” More tears began pulling from his eyes as he looked down at the floor. 

Tom tilted his head, looking at his best friend with wonder. “Okay? I can see how that's good though? You two haven't had much you time… Especially with family being around for their birthdays,” Tom said as he sat down next to Julian. 

“Thats… Thats not when we started arguing,” Julian managed to let out as he choked on a sob. “He mad a comment on Ethan, saying life would be crazier if he was still with us… And then he asked if I thought he would be out of the hospital by now… I just… I looked at him and asked why whenever it seemed like he was doing better, he would bring Ethan up,” Julian added. 

Tom let out a sigh. “Well, you have a point,” he whispered, but Julian raged on. 

“And then he accused me of not caring about Ethan because I haven’t showed much emotion about the situation. He said he feels like he’s been going through it all alone,” Julian whispered. “I-I’ve never meant to make him feel that way. I just… It’s been hard on me, too. I just thought I needed to be the strong one… The one that held everything together.” Julian shoved his face in his hands as he began crying harder. 

“He’s right man… I think I’ve seen you lost your cool maybe twice,” Tom jumped in. “I’ve been surprised with how well you’ve kept yourself under control.” 

Julian looked up to meet Tom’s blue eyes and nodded. “I-I know… I’ve just been so… worried about keeping our family afloat that I didn’t realize I wasn’t helping him through his hard time. He pointed out that we haven't said we loved each other in months and… God… I fucking lost it. I told him he should’ve been more open minded. I blamed him… I blamed him for Ethan’s death… For not going to the superbowl… For our relationship falling apart,” Julian said as he ran his hands through his hair and tugged at it. 

“You weren’t exactly open minded when you were pregnant, Jules… Last time I checked, you were a crabass,” Tom said pursing his lips. 

“I know! And he called me out for it! It was wrong of me to say that! Especially when it wasn’t even his fault for Ethan’s passing,” Julian whispered. “He told me to get out… And that we were done. Then I did something even worse.” Julian began to shake his head as more tears fell. “I-I fucking spit at him.” 

Tom’s eyes went wide. “Jesus Jules. What the fuck? You don’t do that to anyone,” Tom scolded the younger man. “That is so crossing a line.” 

“I know! I know… I’m stupid,” Julian whispered as he shook his head. “I’m a fuck up. And I have nowhere to go anymore.” 

*** 

Danny let out a sigh as he looked up at the white ceiling. The room was dark, which was extremely sitting for how he was feeling. He felt like he was stuck in a very dark place, a much darker place that he’d been in since Ethan’s passing. 

His number one distraction-- his kids-- weren’t there, and Julian was gone. Danny scoffed at the thought of Julian. He kept replaying their fight over and over in his mind. Did Julian really spit at him? It was clear how much respect the younger man really did have for him— or lack thereof. 

He turned onto his side and looked toward the window, where the sun was trying to peek through the shades. No way in hell was Danny going to open them. 

His eyes fell shut, and he didn’t know if it was from the lack of sleep or from the alcohol that he’d been drinking all night and well into the morning. He had no clue how long he was asleep, but he was pulled out of it by the sound of his phone vibrating on the table next to the bed. 

His breath got caught in his throat as he reached for the phone— Julian’s face was flashing across it. Of course it was Julian. It seemed Julian was the only person who called him nowadays anyway. 

As Danny stared at his phone screen, it went black— letting him know that Julian ended the call. Danny put the the phone back down and let out a breath. Why would Julian think he even wanted to talk to him? 

A second later, his phone was vibrating in his hand again, revealing a text. 

Julian 10:47 

I’ve got the kids. No need to worry about them. 

And— Oh shit— the kids. Danny didn’t even think about picking them up. Besides, Danny knew where Julian ran— To the Brady’s. Any time anything went wrong, he went straight to Tom. 

Tears began to surface in Danny’s eyes as his stomach began to churn. What was going to happen with the kids? Would they understand? Would this ruin the relationship between him and the kids? 

Before Danny could have another thought of them, the alcohol he’d drank all night began coming back up. 

Meanwhile, Julian was sitting on the Brady’s couch as he watched the kids run around with the dog outside. They were so happy, and so, so oblivious. Julian felt like the weight on his chest was getting heavier and heavier. 

“Hi Jules,” Gisele’s voice came from next to him— shaking him out of his thoughts. “I’ve got your coffee right here.” 

Julian’s blue eyes went wide as he turned to see Gisele sitting down on the couch next to him. Her soft blue eyes were looking back at him with such a caring look. “Thank you,” Julian mumbled as he took the mug from her hands. “I appreciate it.” 

Gisele let out a sigh. “Did you manage to get ahold of him,” she asked softly, eyeing the kids out in the yard. 

Julian shook his head. “No.” And took a sip of the coffee and let out a sigh. “Uh, I kinda just texted him to let him know that I’ve got the kids.” 

“Will you two ever learn about communication? I know that the two of you have been going through rough times, but you two should be able to talk,” she informed. 

Julian ran his hands down his face and let out a huff. “I know. I-I just blew up on him. I said shit I didn’t mean. God, I’m so stupid,” he mumbled, close to tears. 

Gisele let out a sigh herself reached forward to put her mug down, then rubbed her hand up and down Julian’s back. “It’ll be okay, Jules… You just gotta give him some time to cool down. I’m sure he’ll come around,” she said softly.

Julian pulled back and looked up at her again. “What about the kids? I-I… They’re going to catch on… They’re going to know something is up,” Julian replied, his eyes going wide. “The kids are going to be thrown around between two households!” 

“Jules, don’t think like that. Just talk to him. You two need to talk,” she reassured. “You can leave the kids here a little longer… And if you can’t talk to him, you know you’ve always got a place to stay.” 

Julian nodded. “Think I should head over now, then,” he asked, a little bit of hope sparking in his chest. 

Gisele looked back out at the kids and nodded. “Yeah, before they realize you’ve left without them,” she said. “I’ll make sure they stay preoccupied.” 

“Thank you so much,” Julian said as he moved over to pull her into a tight hug. “I really appreciate it. You and Tom have done so much for us.” 

She hugged him back tightly and then pulled away, brushing a bit of hair off his forehead. “It’s no problem. You guys are family, you should know that.” 

Julian got up and made his way toward the door, nerves getting to him as he got into the car. He didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t know if Danny would be relaxing or if he’d be there, off the walls depressed. Since Ethan passed, Danny was a completely different person. 

In fact, he was so different that over time, Julian found it nearly impossible to read the man that was once an open book. 

The drive to their house was a silent one. The entire time, he was white fisting the steering wheel, and he was going over the speed limit. When he pulled up the driveway, he looked up at the place, not surprised by all of the shades being shut. 

He made his way up the steps and unlocked the door. No one was in the living area, but there was an empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s sitting on the coffee table. “Damnit Danny,” he grumbled as he walked past it and looked into the kitchen-- still no side of Danny. 

“Dola? Danny,” Julian called as he looked toward the steps, ready to make his way up to their bedroom. 

The sound of the toilet flushing up stairs caught Julian’s attention. “Danny,” He asked again as he walked up them and near their bedroom. The door was shut, telling him that Danny was in there. 

“Dola,” Julian said softly as he wrapped on the door. There was no sound coming from inside the bedroom. “Please Danny?” 

“No,” Danny’s weak, raspy voice let out. “Please leave me alone.” 

The sound of Danny’s voice broke Julian’s heart. He hadn’t sounded that broken since the day Ethan died. It brought back unpleasant memories. 

Julian braced himself as he turned the door knob and pushed the door open. “God Dola,” he said, looking around. 

The older man’s clothes from the night before were scattered about the room. When Julian looked to the bed he took a deep breath. “God, Danny,” he said, shock evident in his voice. 

He’d never seen Danny like it. He was lying in the bed with the sheets down to his knees with only a pair of black boxers on. “You look like shit,” Julian said as he inched in further. 

Danny’s dark eyes flipped to meet Julian’s. “Why are you here?” His voice was shaky as could be, he wasn’t sure if he was going to need to throw up again. 

“I-I came to talk with you,” Julian said softly. 

Danny loved a bit and sat up, looking at Julian with his eyes squinted. “I told you, we’re done,” Danny said and pursed his lips. “It’s clear that we don’t see eye to eye anymore.” 

Julian’s eyes widened. “B-But Danny…” 

Danny rolled his eyes. “But what Julian? We’ve been growing apart for months now. Why’d you come? Did Tommy tell you to?” 

Julian’s jaw dropped. He was shocked. Danny’s voice had never sounded so cold toward him. It broke his heart even more. “N-No… I came to apologize,” Julian replied, dumbfounded. 

“There’s no going back on what you’ve said and done, Julian,” Danny shot at him. “You spit at me. I’ve seen you mad before, but I’ve never seen you go that low, not even on the football field.” 

Julian let out a sigh as tears began to surface. “S-So this is it then? What about the kids?” 

Danny shrugged. “We’ll switch off. I’m sure they’ll understand. They’ll be happier if they’re not around us fighting all the time,” Danny said non-cellantly. 

It felt like a stake to the heart. Julian was shocked at how calm Danny was about it. These were their children. 

“F-Fine. I’ll bring them over on Tuesday after I pick Bradley and Dylan up from daycare,” Julian finally said, not wanting to argue even more. The last thing he needed was to dig his own hole deeper. 

*** 

“Papa,” Dylan screeched as Julian got him out of his car seat and got him down to the ground. He began running toward the door where Danny was just walking out. “I missed you!” 

Danny leaned down and easily lifted the two year old up in his arms. “Hey buddy,” he said as he placed a kiss on his son's forehead. “Have you been good for Daddy?” 

“Yeah,” Dylan replied a he shook his head rapidly. “But miss you!” 

Danny smiled. “I’ve missed you too. How was day care today,” he asked as he saw Julian and Bradley move up in his peripheral vision. 

“It was good! Ms. Alissa is funny!” Dylan said with one of the biggest smiled on his face. 

“That’s good,” Danny said and turned to Julian who was holding Brad’s hand. “Hi.” 

“Hi Danny. I uh…” Julian began but looked down at his feet. 

“Hey boys! Why don’t you head in side?? Papa will be right in!” Danny said, as he looked down at his blue eyed boy, then up to his brown eyed boy. “I’ve got your toys set up in the living room! And I’ll be making Spaghetti for dinner!” 

Dylan’s eyes went wide, and Brad instantly nodded. “Okay,” Julian said. “Say bye to Daddy! I’ll be seeing you guys soon!” Julian said as he looked between his sons. 

Brad hugged Julian’s legs, then sped into the house without any words. Dylan leaned over in Danny’s arms and placed a kiss on Julian’s cheek. “Bye Daddy!” 

Danny let the little one down and watched him run after his younger brother. 

“So,” Julian started as he changed his weight from foot to foot. “I uh… I was thinking. I think I want to take them out to Cali to visit my parents next week.” 

Danny felt guilty for a second. The younger man looked like he hadn’t slept in months. There were dark bags under his eyes and he just didn’t look like his normal self. But then— Danny remembered what Julian had done to him, and what he said to him. 

“For how long?” Danny finally asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Tuesday when I get them until Sunday,” Julian said with a sigh. “I think it’d be good for them.” 

“Are the kids okay with it,” Danny asked, raising an eyebrow at his… His ex. 

Julian shrugged. “I mentioned seeing grandma and grandpa and they got excited. Nicki also wants to show them her class room,” Julian said. And god, even his voice sounded weak. 

“Yeah, okay… So is this what we want to do? Tuesday to Tuesday? Or?” Danny asked, wanting to know when he could plan stuff. 

Julian shrugged. “I mean if that works for you,” he said. 

“It does.” Danny mumbled. “I’m gonna head inside now. Don’t want the boys to be alone for too long.” 

Julian nodded. He stood there and watched as the love of his life walked through the door. 

“Papa!” Brad exclaimed from the living room floor. “Can we watch Finding Nemo?! Daddy said it was here so we couldn’t watch it this week!” 

Danny’s eyes met his son’s. “Sure. You know where it is, right, Bud?” He asked as he closed the front door and locked it. 

Brad nodded as he got up and moved over to the DVD rack, looking for his favorite movie. 

“Papa,” Dylan’s voice, pulled him out of his thoughts. “Why is Daddy at Uncle Tom’s and not here?” 

Danny knew this question would be coming. And he wondered if Julian was getting the questions all week, too. With a sigh, he moved in and sat down on the couch, pulling his youngest son up with him. 

“Well, Papa and Daddy have decided that we should stay apart right now,” Danny said, having no clue what to tell Dylan. 

“Why? You wub each other.” Dylan’s big brown eyes almost broke Danny’s heart. How was he supposed to tell his son that they’d be between two households for good? 

“We just… We love each other so much that it can’t be held in one house,” Danny finally said. 

“Then should I live somewhere else? Cuz I love you soooo much!” Danny couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t deserve any of the praise he was getting-- he tore their family apart. 

Danny’s heart was breaking piece by piece. 

A week later, Julian was walking off the plane with both of his sons in his arms. Dylan was fast asleep, and Brad almost threw a fit when Julian wold him to walk. The three of them left the plan, and made their way to the main part of the airport, where Angie said she would be waiting for them. 

As Julian walked through, he faced a bunch of unfamiliar faces, but then saw the one that had always been there for him-- his mother. He picked up his pace and began making his toward his mom, who had spotted him too. 

They met in the middle, Angie wrapping her arms around all three of them. “My babies!” She said as she placed a kiss on both boys’ foreheads, then looked up to meet Julian's tired blue eyes. “Hi baby, how are you doing?” 

Before Julian could respond, Bradley was begging to be in his grandmother's arms, so Julian shifted him into her arms. “I’m okay,” he finally mumbled. “Holding up okay, I guess. I’ve been so busy with them that I haven’t had a chance to sit down and really think about what’s going on.” 

Angie pursed her lips. “Don’t worry, Jules, he’ll come around. You two are meant to be,” she said, her blue eyes looking into Julian’s. 

Julian instantly felt a lot more calm. It’d only been two weeks since he’d seen his mother, but with everything going on, and taking care of the boys, it felt like an eternity. “I-I… Mom, I spit at him… I didn’t mean to do that… I just…” 

She rubbed Julian's arm and sighed. “You two will be back together, don’t worry about it. Now let's head out, your father is waiting in the car for us.” 

Julian nodded and followed her out to the car. Once they got there, Julian’s dad leaning up against the side of it caught Brad’s attention. “Grampa! Grampa!” he screeched as he begged to get out of Angie’s arms. When they got close enough, she let him down and he went dashing over to Frank. 

“Hey buddy! How are you!” Brad was all smiles as he wrapped his arms around Frank’s neck. “I missed you!” 

“I’ve missed you, too buddy! Have you been good since we last saw you,” Frank asked, a soft smile on his face. Brad nodded rapidly with the biggest smile on his face. 

Dylan began stirring in Julian’s arms. He let out a little yawn then turned to look at everyone. His eyes went wide. “Gramma! Grampa!” And just like that, he was a little ball of energy. He begged to be let out of this father’s arms. He was running up to Angie before his feet even hit the ground. 

“Hey little one,” she greeted as she leaned down and picked him up, placing a big kiss on his cheek. “How are you?!” 

His big brown eyes looked at her, and his smile faltered. “Good, but I miss Papa!” 

Julian physically flinched-- He missed Danny, too. 

*** 

“Yo! Dola! You ready for tonight,” Gronk greeted as he rolled down the window to the Uber. He was his overly happy self and that was why Danny was hanging out with him. He needed someone around who was going to make him happy. 

Danny nodded as he bounded down the steps of the house. “Yeah, man. I’m more than ready! Move your ass over,” he replied as he opened the car door and motioned for Rob to scoot over. “I’ve been waiting to do this all day.” 

Rob smiled at Danny and knocked their shoulders together. “It’ll be a great time, Dola! Our first stop tonight has some of the best Margaritas! They’re going to blow your socks off,” Rob exclaimed with a big smile. 

Danny leaned over to look out the window, wondering what he exactly got himself into. 

It wasn’t until much, much later-- and we’re talking about ten or eleven drinks later-- that Danny officially realized he was in way over his head. He was sitting at the bar watching Rob feel some girl up on the dance floor. 

“Here ya go, Dola,” Ryan Allen said as he slid Danny a drink. Danny looked up at Ryan, a haze covering his sight. 

He grabbed the glass of clear liquid and brought it up to his lips, taking a quick sip. He instantly pulled it away and looked at Ryan with wide eyes. “This is water,” he said, shock filling his voice as began coughing. 

Ryan chuckled next to him and nodded. “You should really ease up… We’ve only been out three hours,” Ryan said. “And Gronk said that you had a margarita or two before you even got here.” 

Danny rolled his eyes at the punter before he turned to flag down the bartender. “Another Jack on the rocks,” the young man in plaid asked, a small smile on his face. It was clear he knew Danny didn’t shouldn’t have another one, but he didn’t care. He thought it was cool to be getting a famous NFL’er drunk. 

Danny gave the man a brief nod, and then the new glass was placed in front of him, he grabbed it and brought it up to his lips-- sipping the burning liquid. 

He looked up again to see Ryan standing there, looking at him with a disapproving look. “Dude, you really should be easing up,” he said as he reached forward to grab the glass. 

Danny tried to pull away but was unable to. Ryan easily got ahold of it and put it down on the bar, away from Danny. “You’re being cut off, Dola.” 

“Bu-,” Dola began to protest, but was cut off by a shirtless Rob making his way toward them. 

“Hey Dola! Having a good time,” he asked, his normal big goofy smile on his face. Danny gave him a slight nod through watery squinted eyes. “Good Bro! You’re coming out with me again tomorrow, right? Tommy don’t need to know a thing!” 

Danny looked to Ryan, then back to Rob before nodding with a small smile one his face. “Hell yeah bro! I’m down! Don’t have anything better to do!” 

Needless to say, the next morning Danny was regretting every single sip of alcohol he took. He was lying on the floor in the master bathroom as he waited for his stomach to settle for the fourth time. 

His phone began ringing, causing his eyes to snap open. He fumbled, reaching into his pocket for it, and answered without looking at the caller ID. “H-Hello,” he asked weakly, letting his eyes fall back shut. 

“Papa,” Dylan’s voice came from the other end. It was so loud Danny flinched away from the phone and let out a gasp of pain. 

“Hi Buddy, how are you,” Danny asked quietly. Are you being good for Daddy?” 

“Yeah! But I missed you! Grampa let me call you while Daddy and Gramma went out shopping. Brad and I are coloring right now!” 

“That’s great buddy!” 

“Papa, I have tons of pictures for you when we get back. Brad has some for Ethan and Uncle Rob too!” Dylan practically yelled into the phone. 

Danny elt his stomach begin to churn again. “That’s great, bud… I uh… I gotta go right now. I’m about to… Uh… Go and meet Uncle Rob for breakfast.” 

“Okay Papa! Love you! See you soon!” 

“I love you, too bud! I’ll see you.” 

And it was af if on cue, the burning liquids moved up his esophagus. 

*** 

Danny was pacing the living room. It was already 5:00, where the hell was Julian with the kids? They were due to be dropped off an hour ago and Julian wasn't answering the phone. 

He was about to pick up his phone and call Tom when he heard the slamming of a car door outside. In the matter of seconds, he was at the door, watching Julian helping A screaming and crying Dylan out of his car seat. 

Danny pursed his lips. What the hell? Why was Dylan Screaming so hard? “No! Want Papa! Papa!” He screamed. And Danny was on his way to the car, almost pushing Julian out of the way. 

He unclipped the toddlers car seat and pulled him into his arms, holding Dylan’s head to his chest. “Shh… Shh, bud… it’s okay, I’m here.” 

Dylan slowly began to calm down. 

Julian got Bradley and stood there watching Danny bounce on the balls of his feet. Danny turned to The two and let out a sigh. “Bradley, why don’t you head inside? Do you wanna go inside, too?” He asked Dylan. 

Dylan had the collar of his shirt in his mouth as he nodded. “Okay, Brad, please help Dyl inside.” 

Brad moves forward and grabbed Dylan’s hand before directing them into the house. Once he kids disappeared, Danny’s dark eyes moved up to lock with Julian’s. “Not even a fucking text? I was worried sick that something happened! You’re not just a few minutes late, you’re a fucking hour late, Julian! What the hell is that?! And you get here and Dylan is screaming for me!?” 

Julian’s blue eyes were full of a look Danny had never seen before… “I’m sorry,” Julian said quietly. “I was helping Tom with something in the yard and forgot! Okay?!” 

Danny rolled his eyes. “I swear, if this happens again, I won’t hesitate to bring your ass to court,” He said and let out a scoff. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be heading in side to hang out with my sons.” 

Before Julian could get out another word, Danny was jogging back toward the house. 

When Danny walked in, Brad was sat on the couch next to Dylan trying to calm him down. Danny moved in and sat down next to them, pulling Dylan into his lap. 

He bounced the toddler and looked toward his oldest son. “What made Dylan cry,” Danny asked. 

Brad’s blue eyes looked sad. “Dylan was singing and happy to be coming here… And daddy yelled at him to shut up,” he said quietly. “He was so mean.” 

Danny looked down at Brad with wide eyes. What the fuck? Julian never snapped on the kids— Ever. And they were both very— VERY— strong believers in not yelling at their kids. 

“You know what, Dyl… You too Brad… you guys can sing as much as you want around here,” he told them, earning a smile from Brad and Dylan to pull back and look up into his eyes. “So, what song will be be singing first?” 

A smile broke out on Dylan’s face. 

*** 

“You guys be good today, okay?” Danny said as he squatted down and wrapped his arms around Dylan and Brad. “I’ll be picking you two up after I finish with football practice and meetings, okay? I love you.” He kissed both of their cheeks. 

Brad hugged Danny back and instantly pulled away, ready to go play with his friends and Ms. Alissa; however, Dylan grasped onto Danny’s bicep and held as tight as he could. “Buddy, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you tonight,” Danny said. 

Dylan shook his head and stuffed his face in Danny’s chest. “No! I don’t want to leave you, Papa! No like being apart!” 

Danny let out a sigh, feeling a pang in his chest as he wrapped his arms around Dylan and hugged him tight. “It’s okay, buddy. I’ll see you tonight. I promise,” Danny whispered into Dylan’s hair. “I’ve really gotta go right now, though, okay? I will see you tonight… It’ll only be six hours.”

Dylan pulled back, tears pulling from his big eyes. “Promise?” 

“I promise, buddy… I love you… I’ll see you later,” Danny said as he placed a big kiss on Dylan’s cheek. With quivering lips, Dylan nodded and ran off in the same direction Brad did. 

Danny shook his head as he made his way out of the building and to his car. His heart broke knowing that Dylan was like that. He always knew the little rascal was much more attached to him, but he didn’t realize that Dylan as that afraid to be apart from him. 

It broke his heart. It seemed that Brad was indifferent to the situation, but little Dylan was torn apart. For some reason, Danny thought it would only be him and Julian hurting, it was like he completely forgot about the kids’ feelings. He felt guilty thinking that he was the only one. 

It was like he was on autopilot on the way to Gillette. He was in his parking spot, staring straight ahead when there was a sharp knock on his window. As he shook his head at himself, he looked up to find Gronk standing there, big goofy smile on his face. 

“Yo! Dola! You look a little in your head right now!” He shouted through the glass. “We got OTA’s bro!” 

Danny shook his head as he pulled the keys out of the ignition and shoved his way out of the vehicle. “Dylan’s kinda worrying me,” he admitted, looking at Rob with sad brown eyes. 

“Why’s that,” Rob asked, eyebrows furrowed. As the pair walked up the the stadium. 

Danny let out a sigh. “He started bawling this morning and wouldn’t let me go when I dropped him and Brad off at daycare,” Danny practically whispered. “He said he didn’t want me to leave again.” 

Rob pursed his lips. “Maybe he’s not adjusting as well as Jules and you thought,” Rob said. He held the door open for Danny. 

Danny sighed, but nodded. “I think I should talk to Jules,” he said quietly. His head was down so he was looking down at his feet as they walked. 

“I think it would do the two of you good,” Rob said softly. “Neither if you have been yourselves… I mean you actually come out now!” 

Danny’s eyes flashes up to Rob’s and Danny rolled his eyes. “That’s because I have free time now and am not worrying about the kids all the time,” he replied. 

Rob shook his head. “No, it’s because you need to let loose. I’m sure you can talk to Julian today after meetings,” Rob said with a smile. He patted Danny on the back. 

Danny nodded. “Yeah, I think I will. We need to make sure our children are okay,” he said, feeling his chest spark up with hope. 

That spark quickly died out when fifteen… then twenty minutes passed, and Julian had yet to show up. Tom was there, so where the hell was Julian? Julian always showed up. 

The entire they were on the field, Danny tried to find a way to get to Tom and talk to him for a minute… Or even a second. By the time he finally got to talk to the QB, they were heading into the locker room. 

“Tom,” Danny called as he ran up to Tom in the hall, grabbing the older man’s shoulder to stop him. 

And thank god, Tom did. He turned around, his blue eyes meeting Danny’s. “What’s up Dola?” 

“I-I uh… Where is Julian today,” Danny asked and bit his lip. He felt nervous about asking Tom, he didn’t know why. 

Tom shook his head. “He’s got the flu. Said he’ll be trying to make it in this week,” Tom replied. 

Danny let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t know what he exactly expected to come from the QB’s mouth, but he expected it to be much worse. “Oh… Uh… Okay, I’ll just… I’ll call him then. I need to talk to him about the kids.” 

“Alright, Dola. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night,” Tom told him, a slight smile on his face. 

Danny nodded, then scurried off to his locker to get cleaned up before he called his ex. 

An hour later, Danny slid into his car and looked down at Julian’s contact. He needed to do it, he knew he did. But… what if Julian was so unwell that he was unable to answer the phone in the first place. He shook his head at himself. It was a gamble he just needed to take. 

He pressed the call button and brought the phone up to his ear. His heart began beating faster at every ring… On the fourth one, the line was finally connected. 

“Hello,” Julian’s quiet voice came through. And, fuck, he did sound rough. 

“Uh, hi Jules, it’s Danny,” Danny said quietly. “I Uh… I heard you were sick with the flu today.” Danny wanted to facepalm, he had to sound so stupid. 

“What do you want,” Julian asked. His voice almost seemed cold to Danny, but Danny just ignored it, blaming it on Jules vein sick. 

 

Danny sucked in a deep breath. “Well I was going to talk to you today… but you weren’t there… And I don’t think this should wait any longer than it has to. It’s about the kids,” Danny informed. 

“Wait what?! What about the kids? What’s wrong,” Julian instantly asked, his voice rising a bit. “Are they okay?!” 

“They’re fine… I just… What’s been happening has been really hard on them,” Danny started and let out a sigh. 

“You’re telling me,” Julian shot back under his breath. 

“Dylan threw a fit about being moved from house to house so much,” Danny said and shook his head at the thought of his crying son. “I just… We should think of a better plan than having them at a week at a time.”

Julian let out a huff. “Listen… I-I need to go. We can talk about this when I pick them up tomorrow,” Julian replied. 

Danny shook his head. “If you’re sick, I don’t want you around them and getting them sick,” he said, thinking about the mess the last time Dylan was sick. 

“You already ruined our relationship, Danny. Don’t take away my children, too. I won’t be afraid to take your ass to court,” Julian shot back, then hung up. 

Danny stared down at his down in disbelief. “What the fuck, Julian?!”

The next day, Danny was surprised to, yet again, see no Julian at OTA’s, so before Julian would even be going to get the kids, he decided to venture over to the Brady’s. He got out of the car and looked up at the mansion. The place was huge-- fit for the king that Tom really was. 

He was on a mission, he hopped up the steps, two at a time, and banged on the big door, not even bothering to use the doorbell. He saw movement through the stained glass, then Tom was pulling open the door. “Danny,” he said quite loudly. “What are you doing here?” 

Danny gave him a glare. “Come on man, you know why. Where is Julian? I need to talk to him,” Danny told the older man. 

The sound of a cough, Julian’s cough, came from the living room and Danny leaned in to see the bastard sitting on the couch, curled up under a blanket. Tom moved to the side and officially let Danny in. 

“You two talk… I’ll head outside,” Tom said as he shuffled off to the back of the house. 

Danny stood there with his hands on his hips and looked down at Julian. He looked fucking fine. Completely fine-- so what the fuck? “Are you going to tell me what’s been going on? You’ve been snapping at the kids… At me… I don’t know if its the situation, or the way you’ve been acting, but Dylan doesn't want to go near you! Are you going to tell me what’s up?” 

Julian’s big blue eyes looked up at Danny-- completely blank. “I’m sick! That’s it, Danny! I’m sick! Now if you’ll excuse me, I-,” Julian cut himself off and put a hand over his mouth. He quickly got up and darted to the bathroom. 

Danny moved after him, and out of force of habit, he rubbed Julian’s back as he retched into the toilet. After a minute or two, Julian was done. He pulled back and wiped his mouth, looking up at Danny with a miserable look. 

“How long has this been going on,” Danny asked as he leaned forward and flushed the toilet for the younger man. 

“A few weeks,” Julian whispered miserably. Then his eyes went wide-- Oh fuck. 

“A few weeks? You may want to get that chec-,” Danny cut himself off as his eyes went wide and he took a step back. “A-Are you pregnant?” 

Julian swallowed, looked down, the back up and nodded. 

“I-Is it mine?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter probably won’t be up for like a week... It’s gonna be a long one.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did Brad go down okay,” Danny asked as he moved over to the dresser. He peeled off his jeans and pulled out a pair of mesh shorts. He moved toward the door and leaned against the door frame. 
> 
> Julian nodded. “Yeah, he was practically asleep before I even pulled the covers up,” Julian said with a small smile. “Where ya headed?” 
> 
> “The guest room down stairs,” he said quietly. He tried to ignore the way Julian’s shoulders sagged at his words. “I-I figured we should keep our space until we’re all good again.” 
> 
> “Oh,” Julian said, his blue eyes wide. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. But, Danny was probably right. They were probably better off taking things slow. 
> 
> “Is that okay,” Danny asked as he crossed his arms and leaned further back against the door frame. His heart was racing, he kind of wanted Julian to say no. 
> 
> “Uh… Yeah… That’s fine. You’re right. We probably shouldn’t just jump back into things,” Julian replied. “Sleep well… I’ll see you in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly 13,000 words... Also, totally not edited.

“Here are your stupid papers,” Julian grumbled. He pushed a yellow envelope up against Danny’s chest and let out a growl. His blue eyes were as icy as could be as he looked at the older man. 

Danny was surprised. What papers? He never asked for anything. “What papers,” he asked. He grabbed the envelope and looked down at it in confusion. His brown eyes met Julian’s and— Holy shit. 

“I still can’t believe you’d think so little of me. What I’ve had for you was all the years was love— and I don’t know what you’ve had… But for you to think that I’d run off to be with another man like that… That is fucked up, Danny,” Julian hissed at him. 

“Julian,” Danny whispered. “I-I never meant to offend you.” 

“Sure you didn’t, but you did. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta get back home. I’m due for my meds,” Julian said, turning away from Danny and walking toward the car. 

Danny stood there, the yellow envelope in his hand, as he watched Julian slide into the car. His jaw dropped as Julian sped off and down the street. 

He knew he was wrong to ask if the kid was his the week before, but it was truly out of shock. The look on Julian’s face… In those blue eyes he fell in love with… was terrifying. 

“Jesus fuck,” Danny whispered as he turned and made his way toward the house where the boys were waiting for him. When he got in the house he shoved the envelope in the ‘junk drawer’ and let out a sigh. 

“Papa, do you wanna play cars with us,” Brad asked, his big blue eyes looking up at Danny. 

Danny took a second before nodding. “Sure. Which cars do you want to be,” he asked as he moved over to the kids and sat down in front of them. 

“Red,” Dylan instantly said as he reached forward for the little Mini Cooper. His small hand barely wrapped around the whole thing. 

“Alright, now what about you, Brad? Which one do you want,” Danny asked, looking over to his light hairs son. 

“This yellow one,” he instantly said, picking up the yellow charger. “It’s bright and the doors open!” There was a big smile on his face as he looked down at it. There were numerous scratches on it from its years of wear and tear. 

“Alright, I suppose that leaves me with this one then,” Danny said as he picked up the old black pickup truck that was left. “Now where are we racing to?” 

“We’re racing to Uncle Tom’s where Daddy is! He was sad earlier so we want to go to him and make him feel better,” Brad said. 

“Was he,” Danny asked, carefully eyeing the two of them. Dylan was fumbling with his car with a frown on his face, and Brad say there with his big blue— identical to Julian eyes— nodding. 

“Yes, Papa… He’s been sick a lot, too! Uncle Tommy took us to Ms. Alissa yesterday,” Brad added. “Daddy picked us up. “ 

Danny sighed, pursing his lips. What on earth was he supposed to say? The man who was carrying his child was in a really tough place, and he wasn’t there to help with any of it. 

Before Danny could think of anything to say, Dylan’s small hand was placed on Danny’s knee. Big brown eyes were looking back up at Danny. “Why are you and Daddy not with each other anymore,” he asked quietly. He looked to be close to tears. 

“Come here,” Danny said and pulled Dylan into his lap. He placed a kiss on the toddlers hair and looked down at him. He looked from Dylan and to Brad. “I guess sometimes people need breaks from each other. Like you know when you’re coloring and your hand hurts?” 

Both Dylan and Brad nodded up at Danny. “Well it’s kinda like that… You need to have a little break and go right back to doing it,” Danny informed. “Sometimes it’s just what you have to do.” 

Dylan nodded in Danny’s arms and let out a loud yawn. “I’m tired, Papa,” he whispered as he dropped the Mini Cooper to the floor and turned his face into Danny’s chest. 

“Alright, Bud, I’ll take you up for a nap… Okay? We can play cars later,” Danny said as he moved so he could stand up with Dylan still in his arms. “Brad, hold tight, I’ll be right back down.” 

Brad nodded as he picked up one of the abandoned cars and began playing with them. 

Danny slowly moved up the steps and into Dylan’s room, where he pulled back the covers of his bed and carefully laid him down. “Sleep tight, Bud,” Danny whispered as he leaned down and placed a kiss on Dylan’s forehead. 

He stood up straight and moved toward the door, bidding his son one last glance before closing the door. Danny’s heart hurt. 

Was Julian really always sad? Constantly sick? He’d been sick on the road before and all he wanted was to be able to go home. Guilt struck through his chest as he bounded down the steps toward Bradley who was still playing with the cars. 

“Papa,” Brad asked once Danny sat down next to him and picked up one of the cars. “When will we not have to go to Uncle Tom’s to see Daddy?” 

Danny sighed. “Soon, Bud… Soon.” 

Brad nodded, then continued the play with Danny. 

The rest of the night was rather uneventful. Once Dylan woke up, the three of them played cars— acting like they were on their way to pick up Julian, then they all went on vacation— next Danny pulled out the boys’ favorite coloring books so they could color while he prepared dinner, after dinner the kids wound down by looking through some picture books, and then Danny managed to get them down to bed. Pretty easily in fact. 

After the kids were put down, Danny sat down stairs and looked through Twitter for the first time that day. There was nothing eventful, just a few people saying they couldn’t wait for the season. And before bed, Danny made sure he took a hefty shot of his sleeping medicine— the Jack Daniels he kept in his night stand. 

“Papa!” Dylan’s voice was distant. 

“Papa!” Brad’s voice jumped in. “Wake up! We’re hungry!” 

Then something warm was touching Danny’s face. Danny’s eyes snapped open to see both Dylan and Brad sitting on Julian’s side of the bed with wide eyes. “Oh… Uh… hey guys! Uh… Why don’t you head down stairs? I will Be right down!” 

The two little boys nodded without saying a word as they leaned off the bed and ran out the room, then down the stairs. Danny let out a sigh as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Jesus. It’s already nine,” he mumbled. He kicked his feet over the edge of the bed and made his way to the corner of the room where his T-shirt and shorts were lying. 

Once he was fully clothed, he made his way downstairs and to the kitchen, where both of the boys were patiently waiting. Both boys looked at Danny with wide eyes as he tiredly shuffled in. “Alright boys, lunch will be in a few hours, so it’s it okay if we just have bananas and apples,” he asked as he stopped in front of them. 

He got a slow nod from both boys. That was his cue to make his way over to the fruit basket and pull up the bananas and apples. He managed to finish cutting the banana, gave the pieces to the kids, then moved over toward the Apple. 

As he began cutting at the fruit, his phone began ringing in his picked. He popped a piece of apple in his mouth and slowly chewed, sliding to answer without checking the caller ID. “Hello,” he asked, his brown eyes carefully watching his sons chow down on their banana pieces. 

“D-Danny…” Danny’s eyes went wide as Julian’s weak, and maybe even scared voice, came through. 

“Y-Yeah, Jules? What’s wrong,” Danny asked, suddenly much more alert. 

“I’m uh… Tom and Gisele are both gone for the next two days and not answering their phones,” Julian said quickly. “I’m running a high fever… Can you… Do you think you can take me to the hospital? Ashley wants me there.” 

Danny nodded. “Yeah… Of— Of course! I just need to finish feeding the boys… Then I’ll be right there,” Danny replied, his heart beginning to race. 

“Okay… Thanks.” Then the line went dead. 

“Alright boys, are you okay with eating your apples in the car? I’ve gotta take Daddy to the doctors,” Danny said as he brought the boys their slices. 

Both nodded. “Okay, I gotta grab my wallet up stairs! I’ll be right back!” He told them and darted up the steps. 

Twenty minutes later, Danny was pulling into the Brady residence with two oddly giddy toddlers. He shifted the car into park and turned back. “I’ll be right back, don’t be mean to each other,” Danny said then quickly ran out the car. 

Luckily the door was unlocked. He pushed his way in and frantically looked around before spotting Julian sitting on the couch under what had to be 10 blankets with a wet washcloth on his forehead. “Holy… Jules…” Danny said as he shuffled over to the frail looking man. 

He sat down on the couch and grabbed ahold of Julian’s hand and holy shit— his palm was soaked with sweat. “Danny…” Julian practically whispered, his eyes almost completely shut. 

Danny bang peeling back the blankets, but Julian grabbed ahold of his wrist. “N-No… Don’t ‘m cold,” Julian whispered. 

Danny shook his head as he looked up to need Julian’s icy eyes. “Jules… We gotta get you out of these… You’re burning up.” Danny said softly as he pulled his wrist from Julian’s grip. “And we have to head to Ashley.” 

He peeled back all of the blankets to reveal a sweat drenched Julian. “Alright. You get one blanket for the car ride,” Danny whispered. “Do you need help getting up?” 

Julian shook his head as he leaned forward to get up, but came up short as he fell back into the couch. In all the years Danny knew Julian, he’d never seen him like this. 

“Alright… Uh… Just… Leave forward a bit, and I’ll help you up,” Danny directed. Julian did as asked and Danny had him up in seconds, supporting him on the way to the car. 

It was clear that the kids did not truly understand what was happening as they were all smiles and very talkative despite Danny being the only one that was answering. 

As soon as they rolled up to the hospital, Ashley was rushing out with a wheelchair where she assisted Julian. “Danny, we’ll be in room 422,” She informed before she rushed off inside with Julian. 

“Now boys,” Danny said as he pulled out of the overhang and into the parking lot. “We are going into a hospital. You two need to make sure you’re as quiet and respectful as can be. If you’re good, we can color In daddy’s room, okay?” Danny looked back at the two once he was in a spot. Both boys nodded. 

Danny got out and grabbed their bag of coloring books, then helped them out of their seats. He carried Dylan in his arms as Brad held onto his hand tight. 

“Watch your step bud,” Danny told Brad as the moved into the elevator. Brad held on to his hand even tighter as he looked down at the little area between the floor and elevator. 

“Papa,” he asked, his big blue eyes looking up at Danny, full of wonder. “Am I going to fall down there?” Danny smiled at Brad and shook his head. “What about Dylan?” 

Danny chuckled and shook his head again. “No, buddy, you’re both too big… Your foot may get stuck though… You just gotta watch where you step.” The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. 

“Come on, Buddy, Papa is right down the hall,” Dany said as Brad began to move with him. “You doing okay, Dyl?” 

The two year old nodded against Danny’s shoulder. “Yeah… ‘M tired,” he mumbled into Danny’s shoulder. Danny smiled as he held his little one even closer. “Now the doctors are going to be in there helping Daddy… So I’m going to need you guys to be quiet.” Brad nodded as he moved ahead and pulled Danny into the room that they were in front of. 

When they got into the room, the shades were pulled shut and Ashley was leaning over Julian, moving her stethoscope all over his chest. “Julian, can I have you sit up so I can put the fetal heart monitor around you?” Julian leaned forward, and let Ashley wrap it around him. 

Danny sat down on the little bench as Brad crawled up next to him… God… Julian looked so miserable.

*** 

An hour later, both boys were happily coloring as Danny watched Julian’s chest rise and fall. The poor blue eyed man was still practically dripping sweat, but managed to fall asleep after Ashley gave him some meds. 

“Hey guys,” Danny said as he looked toward his two sons. “Do you want to head down to the cafeteria and get some hot chocolate? I don’t think Daddy will be waking up for a while.” 

Both boys’ eyes went wide at the sound of the word ‘chocolate’. “Yes,” Dylan practically screeched as he hopped up and into Danny’s lap. 

Danny smiled as he picked Dylan up and grabbed Brad’s hand. Once the three of them received their hot chocolate, they moved to the play area in the hospital. Danny knew the boys would need to get their energy out somehow. 

Danny sat there and watched as the two crawled all over the little pieces of equipment they had when someone sat down next to him. He looked over to see Ashley sitting there with her own cup. “Oh… Uh… Hey Ashley,” he greeted and looked back to the kids. 

She let out a sigh. “Julian and the baby are fine,” she started with. “Well, Julian is fine physically.” 

Danny looked over to her and met her green eyes. “I was shocked when he asked me if I could run a DNA test,” she said. “I was also very shocked that you two were broken up.” 

“I know,” Danny said and shook his head. “I-I… I never had a doubt that it was mine… I just… I was shocked, that’s all. I never meant it. He’s the love of my life.” 

Ashley nodded. “I know… It’s just been hard on him,” she replied. “I think it’d do both of you good to to talk.” 

Danny nodded. “I know… I just never know how to do it… How to talk to him. We’ve lost all sense of communication since Ethan… Ethan died… It just… I don’t know,” Danny whispered as his nose become stuffy and tears began to surface in his eyes. 

Ashley sighed. “Well he’s awake right now… He also said he wanted to talk it you,” she informed. 

“B-But I’ve got the boys,” Danny instantly said, looking toward the boys, who were still happily climbing over all the equipment. 

“Go and talk to him,” she told Danny. “I’ll watch them. I’m on my break right now.” She gave Danny a knowing look. 

Danny nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Hey boys!” Dylan and Brad looked at him with wide eyes. “Ashley is going to watch you for a few minutes, okay? I’ve gotta go talk to Daddy, okay?” 

Both boys shouted ‘okay’, and Danny was on his way. 

When Danny got to Julian's room, he softly knocking on the door and pushed his way in. Julian was sat up in the bed, looking a lot more awake than Danny had seen him since before he picked Julian up. 

“Hi Jules,” Danny mumbled as he inches closer to Julian. 

“Hi Danny,” Julian whispered back as he motioned toward the seat beside the bed. “I take it Ashley talked to you, then?” 

Danny nodded as he sat down, looking into Julian’s blue eyes. “Julian I am so-,” Danny began but was quickly cut off by Julian. 

“No Danny, I’m sorry. I-I never meant to act like I didn’t care… I just tried to be the strong one… And as I figure out, there doesn't always need to be a strong one. Can… Can I come back home? I miss being with you… I miss being with the boys… And I miss my bed,” Julian whispered as he grasped Dannay’s hand. 

Danny smiled as tears pulled from his eyes. “I-I… Of course Julian… We miss having you at home, too,” Danny whispered as he brought Julian’s hand up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss. 

The next day, they managed to get Danny’s mom to watch the kids so Ashley could run some ultrasounds. The couple was sitting in the hospital room as Ashley was about to perform an ultrasound. 

Julian rested back against the the bed and pulled his hospital gown up, revealing the soft slope of his abdomen. He currently looked like he did when he was just a few days from delivering Brad. 

Danny was surprised. Just how far along was Julian? That was one thing he failed to ask. He watched as Ashley pulled out the infamous gel and put it on Julian’s skin. She began to spread it out, then tilted the screen toward the couple. 

“Holy… How far along are you,” Danny asked as he leaned forward and grabbed ahold of Julian’s hand. “There’s… There’s legs.” 

Julian squeezed Danny’s hand and gave him a confused look. “D-Didn’t you look at the papers,” Julian asked, completely shocked. 

“No… I didn’t need to,” Danny whispered with a small smile on his face. 

Julian sucked in a breath and a small smile made its way to his face. “Does… Does it look good,” Julian asked and looked toward Ashley. 

Ashley nodded. “The little one is perfectly fine. In fact, it’s the size of an avocado, which is right where it’s supposed to be on the growth chart for 17 weeks,” Ashley informed. “I’m also pretty confident that you’ll be showing a lot more than you did with Bradley.” 

Julian’s eyes widened but he nodded. “I f-figured,” he replied. “I’ve already noticed a change in my body.” 

Danny nodded as he kept his eyes on the screen. That was his baby right there… The last one he and Julian would ever be welcoming into the world. 

It was at that moment, looking at his child for the first time, that Danny felt a little spark light in his chest. He wanted to do everything that he possibly could to protect that little being. After losing Ethan, he knew he couldn’t deal with the loss of another child… And him and Julian? He knew that he and Julian would be at each others necks again-- and he didn’t want to deal with that… He didn’t want to lose Julian again. 

“Would you two like to know the gender,” Ashley asked, pulling Danny out of his thoughts. And holy fuck… 

Julian side eyed Danny before he shook his head. He gripped onto Danny’s hand extremely tight. “No, I think I wanna wait a little longer,” he said and looked to Danny. “Is that okay with you?” 

Danny visibly smiled and nodded. “Yeah, it sure is. Hey… When’s the due date?” 

Ashley and Julian exchanged looks and Ashley spoke up. “The due date is November 8th,” she said. 

Danny’s eyes went wide. That was only 6 days after Ethan was born. Within a year of losing one child, they would be welcoming another one into the world. A sick feeling began to arise in Danny’s stomach as he thought of the chances of the situation being parallel to the one they just got through. 

***

“S-So why don’t you want to know the gender,” Danny questioned when they got to the car. Both of them buckled in and Danny looked over to Julian. 

Julian let out a sigh as he put a hand on his stomach and looked out the window. It was a cool day at the end of May, and the sky was spitting rain. He watched a rain droplet flow across the window and then looked back to Danny. 

“I just… I… In a way, if we know, I know we’ll both get attached. A-And I know you think I wasn’t affected by what happened to Ethan… But I’d rather not know because then if anything happens,” Julian whispered and shook his head. “If anything happens… it won’t be as hard.” 

Danny took a second to register what Julian had told him. He couldn’t disagree. However, he knew that just carrying the baby makes it worse. While it may have been easy for Julian when he was carrying Bradley to not get attached, Danny didn’t think that Julian would be like that again. 

Now that Julian knew what it was like to have children, and they lost one, he wouldn’t take a second of it for granted— or so Danny hoped. 

“Yeah… I-I understand that,” Danny almost whispered. “I’m sorry for turning my back on you, Jules. I never meant to.” He started the car and began to back up. 

Julian leaned over and grabbed Danny’s hand. “It’s okay… We just… Now we’ve just got to move forward. He need to rekindle our relationship,” Julian replied, soft blue eyes looking to Danny. “For the boys… and this little one.” He looked down at his stomach. He just looked like he was bloated, but both he and Danny knew that ship would be sailing soon. 

Danny nodded as he kept driving. “When… When did you find out,” Danny asked. “W-Was it before we broke up?” Danny’s grip on the steering wheel. It’d ruin him if Julian knew and didn’t tell him before they called it quits. 

Julian let out a sigh and leaned further back into the passenger seat. “No… Of course not… I actually found out when I went to California with the boys. My mom asked me.” 

“What do you mean she asked you,” Danny asked as he glanced over at Julian. 

“She said I that that glow that I only had when I was with Bradley… And she noticed how I was significantly tired all the time. She asked me if I wanted to go grocery shopping with her and gave me the mom look,” Julian said and chuckled a bit. “Of course I went with her. We went to Walgreens and she gave me a look again. She told me she was going to grab a test, then we’d be going to lunch where I was to drink at least two glasses of water.” 

Danny chuckled at the thought of Angie telling Jules what to do. She always had that effect on him. 

“She slid the test to me after we were done eating and told me to go to the bathroom. I just remember the terrified feeling that was sitting deep in my chest as I slid into the stall and waited the three minutes for the test to show a result. Of course— it was positive,” Julian said quietly. “I-I was terrified. I thought that I was going to have to…” Julian’s breath for caught in his throat as he shook his head. 

Danny pulled the car over to the side of the road and looked over to Julian. The younger man had tears streaming down his face. He leaned over and pulled Julian into him. “I thought I was going to have to do it alone,” Julian mumbled into Danny’s chest. “I-I don’t think I could do it alone.” 

“You would never have to do it alone,” Danny mumbled as his fingers laced through Julian’s short hair. “Never Julian. Don’t ever think I’d do that to you.” 

Julian pulled from Danny, his blue eyes meeting Danny’s brown ones. “You’d already called us quits, what was I supposed to do? I was terrified. The next two months went by and you still didn’t know. I didn’t know how to tell you. You snapped at me and… God.” He shook his head and moved back in so his head was stuffed against Danny’s warm, calming chest. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, Danny.” 

“D-Don’t be sorry,” Danny whispered as he placed a kiss in Julian’s hair. He knew he had to make up for what he did— Big Time. 

*** 

“Good night, Dyl… I love you,” Danny said as he leaned down and placed a kiss on Dylan’s little nose. “Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Night Papa,” Dylan said with a small smile on his face. “See you in the morning. Love you!” He fisted his Patriots blanket and pulled it up to his chin as Danny made his way out of the room. 

Danny shuffled down the hall and into the bedroom, where Julian was just sliding into bed. Danny couldn’t lie. Julian looked good. Not much definition in his Abs was lost, but one could definitely tell that there was a change to Julian’s figure. 

“Did Brad go down okay,” Danny asked as he moved over to the dresser. He peeled off his jeans and pulled out a pair of mesh shorts. He moved toward the door and leaned against the door frame. 

Julian nodded. “Yeah, he was practically asleep before I even pulled the covers up,” Julian said with a small smile. “Where ya headed?” 

“The guest room down stairs,” he said quietly. He tried to ignore the way Julian’s shoulders sagged at his words. “I-I figured we should keep our space until we’re all good again.” 

“Oh,” Julian said, his blue eyes wide. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. But, Danny was probably right. They were probably better off taking things slow. 

“Is that okay,” Danny asked as he crossed his arms and leaned further back against the door frame. His heart was racing, he kind of wanted Julian to say no. 

“Uh… Yeah… That’s fine. You’re right. We probably shouldn’t just jump back into things,” Julian replied. “Sleep well… I’ll see you in the morning.” 

Danny nodded. “Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning. Sleep tight,” he whispered and moved out, closing the door behind him. He stood there for a second, dipping his head so he was looking down at his feet. 

He missed Julian’s body heat next to him at night. He missed being the big spoon… But he also missed being the small spoon. He missed Julian’s scent being there as he drifted off each night. 

When he got down stairs, he slid into the cold bed, surrounded by the cold sheets. “I wish you would’ve said yes,” he whispered to himself as he eyes fell shut. 

The next morning, Danny woke up to the boys giggling in the kitchen, and Julian’s laughs. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. A frown made its way to his face when he realized he was in the guest room— and not tangled in the sheets that had Julian’s scent all over them. 

He kicked his feet over the edge of the bed and and leaned down to pick up his shirt. He pulled it over his head, then pulled his shorts up and made his way out of the room. 

When he arrived to the kitchen, Julian and the boys were sitting at the table, tossing crayons at each other. He leaned against the entrance to the room with his arms crossed and smiled at the trio. After a minute or two, Dylan spotted him and smiled. “Papa!” 

The other two looked toward Danny— and Julian had the biggest smile on his face that danny had seen in months. “What are you guys up to?!” 

“Daddy wanted the blue crayon and Brad threw it to him! And then Daddy threw one back! And then we started a fight,” Dylan exclaimed with a giggle. 

Danny smiled as he sat down next to Julian. “That sounds like fun! I heard you guys and had to see what all the fun was about! Have you guys had breakfast yet?” 

Both of the boys shook their heads. “Nah, we were waiting for you, bubs,” Julian said as he slid his chair out. “The boys want scrambled eggs. Is that okay with you?” 

Danny nodded as he leaned forward to grab a coloring book. “That’s completely fine. Whatever the boys want,” Danny said as he flipped through the book and found a picture of a starfish. He looked to the boys. “What color do you think I should color this starfish?” 

“Red,” Dylan said excitedly. 

“Blue!” Brad nearly screamed as he held up a blue crayon. 

Danny shrugged. “What if I sued both colors? You think that would look cool?!” 

Both of the boys nodded and looked toward Julian. “What about you Daddy? Both red and blue,” Brad asked, his big blue eyes meeting Julian’s. 

Julian’s eyes twinkled as he looked over at Danny. “Yeah. I think you should color it both colors. Maybe even throw some purple in there. Blue and red do make purple after all,” he suggested as he tore his eyes from Danny and moved over to the fridge to pull out some eggs. 

“Alright. Then I guess that’s what I’ll be doing!” 

About ten minutes later, Julian was plating up the last of the scrambled eggs when he put the pan back down on the stove and darted to the bathroom. The boys were so engrossed in their eggs that they hadn’t even noticed. But, that didn’t stop Danny from noticing. 

“You two finish eating. I’ll be right back,” he told the boys as he put his fork down on his plate and followed the direction that Julian took off in. 

When he got to the bathroom, Julian was retching into the toilet. “Oh Jules,” Danny whispered as he moved in and kneeled next to Julian. He rubbed Julian’s back soothingly as whatever was in his stomach came up. 

“Ugh. This being pregnant thing really sucks,” Julian moaned as he leaned forward to flush the toilet. He pulled back at looked over to Danny. Concerned brown eyes were looking back at him. “I-I’m well over three months… And I’m still getting morning sickness.” He pouted. 

Danny shook his head. “This can happen at any time throughout a pregnancy,” Danny informed. “I mean, with Dylan, I still got morning sickness as close to a week out from having him.” 

Julian squinted at the older man. “As I seem to recall, You didn’t have much morning sickness at all,” he shot back. 

“Well, I didn’t have it all the time, but I did have it a few times,” Danny replied with a sigh. 

“Still no comparison. It’s like every other day I’m getting sick. Sometimes multiple times a day, too,” Julian replied and shook his head. “It’s not fair.” 

Danny shook his head and leaned forward, tipping Julian’s head up so blue eyes met brown ones. “No being down on yourself. Look where it got us with Ethan,” Danny reminded. His big brown eyes were full of sadness. 

Julian bit his lip and nodded. “Y-Yeah.” 

*** 

A week and a half later, Danny was woken up by Julian barging into the guest bedroom with the biggest smile on his face. “Danny! Danny!” The bed dipped down behind Danny and then there were hands on his arm, shaking him awake. 

“Huh,” Danny groaned as he opened his eyes and rolled to the side to see a very excited Julian looking down at him with happy blue eyes. “What's wrong, Jules? Are the kids okay?” He asked, his brown eyes going wide. He completely missed the excitement in Julian’s voice. 

Julian shook his head and slid off the bed. “Nothing… I just… Here, lemme show you,” Julian said, standing straight up. He watched as Danny sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. His brown eyes were full of confusion. “Look at this!” Julian grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up to his chest. 

Danny’s jaw dropped at the scene in front of him. There was a defined slope to Julian’s abdomen-- and holy shit, there really was a baby in there. “Oh my god,” Danny said, his eyes wide. 

“I-I know,” Julian whispered as he moved the shirt down and sat at the corner of the bed. “I was going to the bathroom, and I moved to grab a shirt… And it was there. Danny! It’s so real.” 

Danny nodded. “Y-yes it is,” he whispered as he slid down the bed and pulled Julian’ into him, hugging the younger man. 

Julian’s arms slowly moved up to wrap around Danny as tears began to pull from his eyes. “It’s growing, Danny. We’re going to have another little one.” 

Danny nodded into Julian. “Y-Yeah we are. I cannot wait.” 

For the next twenty minutes, the couple calmed themselves down and even rested back into the pillows together, talking about the baby. 

“J-Julian,” Danny asked, turning to look at Julian. 

Julian tore his eyes from the ceiling and looked toward Danny, meeting his curious brown eyes. “What’s up, bubs,” Julian asked quietly. 

“I-I… I’ve been thinking. When you were with Bradley, you weren’t happy about it at all… But now, you’re so excited about just showing,” Danny whispered. 

“You know what,” Julian said as he moved to sit up and look down at Danny. Danny sat up as well, looking at Julian with soft eyes. “After what happened… And the way things were with Ethan, I’ve learned that football isn’t everything… Family is. If we play our cards right, then family will always be there for you.” 

Danny nodded and reached over to grab Julian’s hand. “Thank you for coming around,” Danny whispered. “I’ll be honest. I never thought you’d see that side of it. I-I just never thought that you’d think of it that way. I’m terrified knowing that something could go wrong.” 

“I have been too,” Julian replied. “Please just no matter what, please promise me that we will stick together.” 

Danny nodded and pulled Julian into him, hugging him extremely tight. “I promise, Jules. I love you.” 

“I love you, too, Danny.” 

*** 

Julian let out a loud sigh as he sat up, fluffed the pillow up, and leaned back. The baby was fluttering— keeping him awake. He pushed the covers down and cupped his ever slow expanding bump. 

He was in the middle of his twentieth week and he was beginning to get worried about not being able to feel the baby— yet here he was, at nearly midnight, tossing and turning because the baby wouldn’t leave him along. 

“Please stop,” he whispered and turned to his side— facing Danny’s side of the bed. Julian frowned. He missed having the extra heat under the covers with him. “Danny, why won’t you come to bed? I miss you?” 

It was then that it hit Julian. His blue eyes widened and he was sitting up, ready to get out of bed. If Danny wasn’t going to come to him, he just needed to go to Danny. 

Without another thought, he kicked his feet over the edge of the bed, grabbed his pillow, and made his way down the steps. When he got to the bedroom door he cracked it open and stuck his head in. “Danny,” he whisper yelled. After a second, the soft snores echoing around the room didn’t stop. “Danny!” 

The snores stopped and then there was the tired voice of Danny coming from the pile of blankets on the bed. “Hmm?” 

“C-Can I sleep in here,” Julian asked, clutching into his pillow a little tighter. “I-I can’t sleep.” He but his lip as he waited for a reply. 

“Mhm… Sure,” Danny mumbled sleepily as he moved over and cracked an eye open to see Julian standing there in his boxers. 

Jules let out a sigh and moved in, closing the door behind him. He put his pillow down and peeled back the covers before sliding into the warmth. He smiled contently as he leaned back into the pillows and let his eyes shut. Danny’s scent surrounded him, making him feel at home, as his breathing evened out and he fell into a deep sleep. 

When Julian opened his eyes, he was encased in a pair of warm arms, and his hand was on top of another one on his bump. The baby was moving like crazy, and he was paranoid that he was the only one that could feel it. 

He leaned back into Danny’s arms, and let out a sigh. “I’ve missed this,” Danny whispered, his chest pushed up against Julian’s back. “The baby is really starting to grow, too. Can you feel it kick yet?” 

With his eyes still shut, he nodded into Danny. “Yeah. It started last night. I couldn’t sleep because it was moving. And the minute I came in here, it settled,” Julian replied. He was enjoying Danny’s embrace too much to want to move away and look at the older man. 

“He knows I’m here,” Danny whispered as he placed a soft kiss on Julian’s neck. “I can’t wait until I can feel him kick.” 

Julian smiled and pulled away, propping himself up on his elbows. “You think it’s a boy this time,” he asked, meeting Danny’s loving brown eyes. 

Danny smiled back and nodded. “Yeah. Look at our track record with the kids. All three have been boys… I don’t think it’ll be any different this time,” Danny said as he looked down to Julian’s bump. 

Julian brushed a hand over his bump and smiled. “For that reason I think it’s a girl. We need a little change up,” he replied. “I can’t believe how big I am. Do… Do you still have your oversized shirts? I think I’m going to be needing bigger clothes soon.” 

Danny nodded. “Yeah, all the shirts are actually hanging up in the closet in here,” Danny replied as he moved to slide out of bed. A hand grabbed his wrist and held him back.

He turned around to meet a pair of big blue eyes. “Danny,” Julian said in a small voice. “D-Do you think you can start sleeping upstairs with me again? I miss sleeping next to you at night.” 

A smile broke out on Danny’s face. “Yeah, Jules, I sure can. Hey, do you want me to make breakfast while you go and wake up the boys?” 

Julian instantly nodded. “I hope we have avocados. I’ve been in the mood for them,” Julian said, hope sparking in his eyes. 

And oh lord— was this his newest craving? Tom would have a field day. 

Later that day, while Julian and Danny were preparing lunch for the family, the kids took notice in their fathers changing figure for the first time. 

“Daddy,” Brad asked, eyeing Julian’s tighter than normal T-shirt. He just looked up at Julian as he held the toy car in his hand tighter. 

“Yeah bud,” Julian asked as he tore his concentration from the grilled cheese he was making. “What’s up?” 

Brad’s eyebrows scrunched together and he let out a little sigh. “Why are you getting so fat?” 

Both Julian and Danny stopped what they were doing and exchanged looks— completely shocked at Bradley asking that question. And fuck— they forgot to tell the kids! 

“Uh,” Julian said, his eyes still locked with Danny’s. He’d never thought of how or when to tell the children. And he wasn’t exactly sure how they would react with what happened to Ethan. 

“Why don’t we eat lunch and then we can talk about it,” Danny jumped in as he finished cutting up some watermelon for the boys. “I’ve got some watermelon for you!” 

That managed to distract Brad and Dylan— well for the mean time at least. 

It was like the minute the last bite of food was gone, Dylan and Bradley locked eyes, and Bradley gave Julian puppy eyes. “Daddy, will you tell me now?” 

Julian and Danny exchanges looks and Julian let out a long sigh. “Well, you remember how Pap-,” Julian was instantly cut off by Danny. 

“Daddy is having a baby,” Danny said all too quickly. He didn’t want to think about his last pregnancy. He didn’t want to have to worry about Ethan, and a repeat of what’d they’d gone through. 

“Another brother,” Dylan asked, his brown eyes wide, and a small smile on his face. He actually seemed excited. “Daddy! Are you going to get fatter than Papa was?” 

Julian’s breath was caught in his throat— which yeah, of course he was. He would do anything to make sure he was going to carry it to full term. But, Julian was too busy looking toward Brad for his reaction. 

“Y-You mean like Ethan,” Brad asked, eyeing both Julian and Danny. 

Julian gave Brad a slight nod. “Yeah, Bud kinda like baby Ethan,” he said, happy that Brad was being so calm about it. “But this baby could be a girl— you could have a sister!” 

“Will this baby be killed, too,” Brad asked, unemotionally. He looked from father to father waiting for a reaction. 

Danny felt a pang in his heart. Did Brad really think that Danny killed Ethan? He may have not necessarily wanted to have a child, but he’d never take a dead baby over a new one healthy and asleep in his arms. 

“Hopefully not,” Julian said. “We’re all going to need to be a little calmer around the house to help to prevent something like that happening again.” 

Danny shot Julian daggers. Really? ‘Hopefully not’? Really? You’re kidding. The correct answer to that should have been no. One— No one killed Ethan in the first place, and two— where was the positive energy Julian was supposed to have? He was supposed to be confident that the baby would make it the entire time. 

*** 

“They…” Julian took a breath as he slid into bed later that night. “They really think I’m fat,” Julian said. His nose was getting stuffy and he could feel the pressure sitting at the back of his eyes. 

“Babe,” Danny said, coming in from the bathroom. “It doesn’t matter. You’re pregnant. It’s bound to happen.” His eyes ran up and down Julian’s figure as he sat in the bed. He looked way more pregnant than he ever did when he was with Brad. 

Julian began rubbing at his eyes as he nodded. “I know… I just… Ugh. I’m sorry for crying about this… I just… I'm not fat… I’m having a baby!” 

“I know that,” Danny told him. “But they’re too young, they don’t understand that, Jules.” He slid into the bed and put his hand on Julian's thigh. “Just… Just hang in there. Everything will turn out.” 

“Yeah,” Julian replied with a sigh. “C-Can we snuggle? I just wanna be in your arms right now. It’s been so long.” Julian wasn’t lying. Before the night before, their last time in each other’s arms was nearly two months before that. 

“Of course,” Danny said as he leaned back into the pillows and opened up his arms. “Come ‘ere.” 

Julian slid over and leaned back into Danny’s arms. “Ugh. You’re so warm,” he whispered as he turned his head into Danny’s bare chest. He brought a hand up and placed it flat on Danny’s chest. 

Danny brought a hand up and rubbed Julian’s still very muscular bareback. “You’re pretty warm, too,” Danny replied as he placed a kiss in Julian's hair. 

Julian briefly [pulled back and looked up to meet Danny’s brown eyes. “I’m not sure if you can feel it yet,” he said as he took Danny’s hand and placed is on his bump. “But she’s kicking a whole lot right now.” 

“I don’t feel anything yet,” Danny whispered. “But I’ll take your word that he’s kicking right now. I can’t wait until I can feel him.” 

Julian nodded as he watched Danny’s hand sit on his taut skin. “I can’t either,” Julian whispered back. “I-I kinda like this. I don’t know why I didn’t like being touched the last time.” Julian felt guilty. He felt like he took something away from Danny when he had Brad. 

“You know why,” Danny muttered. “It’s the same reason why I did want you touching me with Ethan. It’s because we didn’t want to be with child. We didn’t want to miss football.” 

Julian scoffed into Danny’s chest. “I felt terrible about it the minute I saw that little man looking back up at me,” Julian confessed. “It was after that that I didn’t care as much that I missed football. That's why I was frustrated that you acted the way you did.” 

Danny nodded. “I guess you live and you learn,” Danny replied as he shook his head. “Unfortunately it cost us our son's life.” 

“No,” Julian replied as he pulled his head from Danny’s chest. “It wasn’t your fault, Danny! I hate that you feel that way!”

Danny shook his head. “It wouldn't have happened if I didn’t snap on Brad,” Danny said, a heavy feeling in his chest. “That was the only time I ever swore at one of the kids.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Julian repeated. “You’ve heard Ashley. It was just your body. There was nothing you could have done differently.” 

“I just cared so much more about football than my family,” Danny whispered as tears began pulling from his eyes. “That scares me with you, too. I just… I don’t want you to feel that way.” 

Julian shook his head. “There is no need to worry. I-I’m actually kind content with where I am, right now,” Julian whispered. “While I’ll be a little jealous when you walk out that door in two weeks for training… I’ll still be content. Like I’ve said, family will always be there-- football won’t.” 

*** 

The next three weeks went by extremely fast. Julian officially needed to switch over to Danny’s old shirts, he refused to wear any pants that were not shorts, and he was beginning to get what looked like stretch marks. According to Ashley, he was right on point with the growth chart. He was now at 26 weeks-- which meant the baby was the size of a head of lettuce. 

In addition, today was the last day of the first week of training for Danny and Julian was actually managing pretty well with being at home with the boys most of the day. 

“Daddy,” Dylan said about an hour or so after Danny left for practice. He crawled up on the couch and sat next to Julian. “Can you feel the baby kick?” 

“Yeah, she’s kicking right now… I don’t know if you can feel it yet,” Julian replied as he grabbed Dylan’s small hand and placed it right where he could feel the baby kicking. 

Dylan’s eyes went wide. “I can feel it! Baby brother is kicking,” Dylan said, those big brown eyes looking up at Julian as a smile made its way to his face. “That is so cool!” 

Julian smiled and looked down at Brad. He was lying on the floor, watching whatever Disney short was on. “Bradley, do you want to come and feel the baby kick?” 

Brad looked back and nodded, getting up from the floor. He moved over to the side opposite of Dylan and put his hand on Julian’s bump. “I don’t feel it,” he whined, his big blue eyes looking up to Julian. 

Julian grabbed Brad’s hand and moved it over to where the baby was kicking. “Now do you feel it?” He asked as he let go of Brad’s hand. 

“Yeah! The baby is kicking! Does it hurt, Daddy,” Brad asked, a worried look showing up on his face. 

“No, bubs,” Julian replied. “It kinda just feels like a fluttering.” 

Brad nodded as he smiled at Julian’s bump. “Daddy?” He asked, as he looked back up to meet Julian’s blue eyes. A curious look quickly took over his face. “You’re having a baby, does that mean we can’t go to games or watch them on TV? Like when Papa had Ethan?” 

Julian looked down at Brad with confusion. “What do you mean,” Julian questioned. “Why wouldn’t we be able to watch the games? Or go to them?” 

“Papa never let us watch the games on TV…” Brad said. “I asked Papa why we couldn’t go to games or watch them… And that was when he yelled at me… Ethan started hurting him… And then we went to the hospital.” 

Julian stared down at Bradley in shock. So Danny was lying? He didn’t watch a single game? Was that why he was so much guiltier than he deserved to be? “We will be going to games, bubs. I promise.”

A big smile made its way to Brad’s face. “We get to see Papa play football,” he cheered as he smiled at Dylan. 

Julian nodded and made a mental note to talk to Danny about it. 

*** 

It wasn’t until later that night, when Julian managed to get Danny to rub some lotion on his bump that he brought it up. 

“Danny,” Julian said in almost a whisper as he leaned back against the pillows and watched as Danny finished rubbing some liton under his belly button. “I uh… I was talking with the boys today.” 

Danny smiled as he stilled his hand and looked up at Julian. The baby was kicking at wherever Danny would rub and Danny couldn’t get enough of it. “That’s good that you talked to them. You were home with them all day.” 

“I uh… Why didn’t you tell me that you didn’t watch any games last season? A-And that you wouldn’t let them watch at all,” Julian asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he met Danny’s brown eyes. 

Danny’s brown eyes went wide, and his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Oh… Uh…” Danny pulled his hand from Julian’s skin and let out a sigh. “I-I’m sorry, Jules. I just… I never…” Danny let out a sigh and shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I never meant to.” 

Julian let out a sigh. “Are you sure? I mean it really takes some guts to tell your children that they can’t go anywhere,” Julian replied. “Especially when it's to go see me. I understand how you felt… But goddamn Dann… The fact that that is what broke the camel's back! Why didn’t you tell me that that was what you and Brad yelled about on the day you had Ethan?! I mean… What the fuck?” 

“I didn’t mean to, Jules! I just… It broke my heart that you got to leave everyday to play football! IF I had known that how I was acting and feeling would lead to Ethan not making it, then I would’ve lightened up a lot earlier!” 

“But Danny! If that was how you were feeling you could have confided in me a bit more! It feels like that I’ve done something wrong now! I mean! Come on! You don’t think that I missed football when I had Bradley? I mean… Come on! And honestly… I don’t know how you hated it,” he let out a sigh… “I just… I know how I was with Brad… But Jesus… I’m loving this! I’m embracing this! And you having one good pregnancy… I don’t know why you acted like that your second time.” 

“I missed football,” Danny sighed. “I’m not like you… It took the death of my son for me to realize that what I was feeling… What I was doing wasn’t good. If I could… I’d redo it all!” He began pulling at his hair as he felt tears begin to surface in his eyes. 

Julian let out a sigh as he watched the older man being to crumble more and more after every word. “Danny,” Julian almost whispered. “C-Come here.” He leaned forward and pulled Danny toward him.

He grasped Danny’s hand and placed it on his bump. “It’s okay… We just… We just need to move forward,” Julian whispered into Danny’s dark hair. 

“Our baby's not here,” Danny cried into Julian’s chest. “He’s gone.” 

Julian felt his heart crack a little. 

*** 

When it came time for Julian’s 30 week ultrasound, Julian was far bigger than he thought he would be. The two walked into Ashley’s office and sat down, awaiting Ashley to be ready for them. 

“Alright, guys, you can come on in,” Ashley said after the two waited for about ten minutes. 

Danny stood and helped Julian up. If Julian was honest, he was extremely sluggish these days. He felt way too out of shape, but all he did was remind himself that he was growing a child, and it wasn’t easy. Before they got into the room where they’d be doing the ultrasound, Ashley stopped them at the much dreaded scale. 

“Jules, can I have you step up here,” she asked as he looked at the two men slowly trailing behind her. 

Julian paused and shook his head as he gripped Danny’s hand really tight. Danny chuckled as he began to nudge Julian forward. “No… Do I have to,” Julian asked, his blue eyes full of worry. 

Ashley gave Julian an amused look. Danny shook his head. “He’s given up on fighting his craving of avocados, french toast, cheese, and pasta sauce,” Danny told her. “And yes, he eats all of those together.” 

“I’ve heard of so much worse,” Ashley replied with a big smile. “I’ve had someone have a craving for crickets and cheese.” 

Julian’s eyes went wide. “What! Oh no! Hell no! I could never do that! That is so disgusting,” he shot back as he rapidly shook his head. 

“Can you please get up on the scale, Jules? The faster you do that the faster we can see our baby boy,” Danny directed Julian with a knowing look. 

“Ugh. Fine. Just… Ignore the fact that I’m fat,” Julian mumbled as he stepped up on the scale and sucked in a deep breath. As the weight calculated, he closed his eyes and began rubbing at his bump. The baby was going crazy, just like it usually did when he was standing up or walking for longer than two or three minutes. 

“Alright. You can step off now, Jules,” Ashley said. Julian opened his eyes and looked down at the scale. 

His eyes went wide at the number awaiting him. 234 pounds. “Is this a joke? You’re kidding right? 234 pounds? That’s six pounds since my last visit! And that’s like 36 pounds this pregnancy! Is that even healthy,” Julian asked as he moved back and grabbed ahold of Danny’s hand-- hoping it would calm him down. 

Ashley nodded. “It’s perfectly fine, Julian. You may not bounce right back, but you will be ready for next season,” Ashley informed with a small smile. “Now why don’t we head in there? And we can see the baby?” 

The three of them made their ways into the room. Danny sat down in the chair and Julian sat up on the table, pulling up his shirt. He hated people who weren’t Danny to see what was under his shirt. He was just so big that he had stretch marks littering his entire bump, and yes… He had some massive love handles that were also covered in stretch marks. 

Danny grasped Julian’s hand and Ashley broke out her gel and wand. 

“Alright. Here is your little one. Looking perfectly healthy, too! Are you guys sure you don’t want to know the gender yet,” she asked, knowing that the two had a bet on what the baby would be. 

“No,” Julian replied. “I already know this little one is going to be a Diana Jane.” 

Danny scoffed from next to Julian. “No! You’re carrying Brandon Anthony!” 

Ashley laughed at the two. It was never a dull moment when they were in her office. 

*** 

It wasn’t until early october, when Julian was 35 weeks pregnant, that he and the boys finally made it to one of Danny’s games. It was decided after a way too long phone conversation with Tom that the trip to the game was set up. 

Danny was under the impression that it was just another game that Julian and the boys would be watching from home. And he totally understood that. Julian’s feet had grown two sizes in three weeks, Danny’s old shirts that he wore right at nine months didn’t fit, and the younger man was beginning to get hit with exhaustion. 

Julian and the boys were currently in the car with Gisele and the gang of kids on the way to the stadium. “Are you guys ready for the baby yet,” Gisele asked, side glancing Julian as she kept her eyes on the road. 

“For the most part,” he said with a small chuckle. “We have our last meeting with the doctor on Tuesday… I mean… At home… He’s managed to get together most of the baby’s room… I still find it hard to move around. I’ve been instructed to not use the stairs too much. She’s just so big.” Julian began rubbing at his oversized bump. He refused to go out and buy more paternity clothes, so he was forced to get a XXXL Patriots shirt for the game. 

Gisele laughed. “Are you two still fighting whether its a boy or a girl,” Gisele asked with a smile. She turned into the stadium and showed the man in the parking lot her parking pass. 

Julian nodded. “Yeah. We’ve each got 1,000 dollars down on it,” Julian replied with a chuckle. “He’s so convinced that it’s a boy. But it seems that she’s been extremely stubborn… And I think that says girl all the way!” 

“I’m on team boy on this one,” Gisele informed as she pulled into a parking spot. “Tom, he’s on team girl. He wants Vivi to have someone to play barbies with.”

“What? Is Tommy sick of playing barbies,” Julian asked with a chuckle. “God, I could give him so much crap for that!” 

After what was normally a four minute walk, but turned into a ten minute walk, the six of them made it to the entrance of the stadium. “Hi Mark,” Gisele greeted the security guard. “How are you?” 

“I’m great,” Mark replied with a smile. “Mr. Edelman… It’s good to see you again! Michael is waiting just inside with the golf cart for you guys! Enjoy the game!” 

“Oh… Uh… Thank you,” Julian said with a small nod. He looked at Gisele with a confused look once they were in side. “What does he mean golf cart?” 

Gisele smiled as they moved up to Michael and the golf cart. “TOom arranged this for you so you wouldn’t have to walk as much,” Gisele said with a smile. 

Julian rolled his eyes as he climbed up on it. Of course. He was getting the special treatment. 

The game went by unusually fast. The Pat’s pulled out a win, and Danny had two touchdowns. The entire game, Julian wouldn’t help but get restless in his seat. Why did Danny have to have such a tight, beautiful ass? 

When the game ended, the six of them loaded into the elevator and down to ground level so they could all go to the locker room and surprise Danny. At first when they entered, no one noticed them. 

It took Brad running to Rob with a loud screech for everyone to turn around. Danny whipped around from where he was standing with Tom and his jaw dropped as Julian and Dylan walked their ways toward him. Well, Dylan did… Julian waddled. 

Dylan instantly took off. Danny squatted down and pulled the two and a half year old into his arms. “Hi buddy! How are you! Did you have a good time at the game?” 

“Yeah! It was fun! We got to go on a golf cart and you were playing! It was sooo cool,” Dylan exclaimed with a big smile. 

Julian just made it up to them and Danny made eye contact. “Hi Julian! What a great surprise,” Danny greeted with a big smile as he leaned in and pressed his lips to Julian’s. 

“Hi babe. You played great,” Julian replied. “You can thank Tom and Gisele for this surprise.” He nodded over to the couple beside them. 

“Here,” Danny said and moved to the side. “Sit down. You look exhausted right now.” 

“I am,” Julian replied with a small smile as he sat down. His blue eyes sparkled in the light of the locker room. 

*** 

“Julian, Danny, you two can come with me,” Ashley told the boys as she motioned toward the hall. 

Danny moved to get up from his seat and stood in front of Julian. Helping the heavily pregnant man up. Julian let out a sigh as he stood there for a second, trying to steady himself. His hand rubbed his stomach, trying to calm the baby. 

“Are you okay,” Danny asked, giving Julian a concerned look. He placed his hand on top of Julian’s. The baby was kicking extremely hard. Danny smiled. “The faster we get in there, the faster he will settle down.” 

Julian bit his lip. His blue eyes full of a look Danny couldn’t identify. “Y-Yeah… Let’s go.” The three of them made their ways down the hall. 

Ashley stopped them in front of the dreaded scale. “I know you hate this Jules… But this is your last time,” Ashley told Julian, giving him a sympathetic look. 

“Ugh. Can’t Danny go on it for me? He’s still a solid 188,” Julian whined as he looked over and met Danny’s brown eyes. 

Danny began shaking his head. “Sorry, Babe, I can’t do that for you… It’s all you! You’ll be fine,” Danny said as he nudged Julian forward ever so slightly.

“Fine,” he mumbled as he grabbed Danny’s hand in order to be assisted onto the scale. He stared down at it waiting for it to calculate… Then it came up. He nearly shit it pants as he held onto the handles to stabilize himself. 

“244 pounds,” he said aloud, his eyes as wide as could be. “I-I… Thats… 46 pounds! 10 pounds in four weeks! I still have another four weeks to go! Am I going to gain another 10 pounds?” 

Danny instantly had a hand on Julian's back, where he rubbed it soothingly. “No babe… You’ll be fine! Let's go see our little one now… It’ll be the last time before he’s here,” Danny said as he directed Julian off of the examination room. 

The baby was perfectly healthy, just like it was for the entire pregnancy. Both Julian and Danny were thankful for that. 

“Now, this is the last appointment before the little one is here… You know what that means. We have to plan a birth plan,” Ashley informed with a small smile.

Danny helped Julian sit up, and held his hand tightly. “I don’t think I’m going to make it to my due date,” was the first thing out of Julian’s mouth. “The baby is just so big… And I don’t want to go into labor.” 

“Your baby isn’t as big as you think it is, Jules.” Ashley nodded. “Your due date is November 8th… What would you like then? The fifth? The fourth?”

Julian and Danny nodded. “Yeah… The fourth works. Is that okay, Danny? There's not a game that day, right?” 

Danny thought for a second. “That’s a tuesday… So it’s my day off… The fourth is totally fine. November 4th our son will be born… That has a nice sound.” The smile on Danny’s face could not be knocked off. 

*** 

“D-Danny,” Julian mumbled as he waddled his way into the guest bedroom after he tucked Bradley in for the night. Tears were streaming down his face as he rubbed his bump. 

Danny looked up from his phone, his eyes wide as he watched Julian slowly move toward the bed. “J-Julian? Are you okay? You’re not hurting are you? If you are I can call Ashley!” He jumped out of the bed and moved up to Julian. He wrapped an arm around the younger man’s back and got him over to the bed. “W-What’s wrong, babe?” 

Julian sat down on the edge of the bed and shook his head. “I-I… I was tucking the Bradley in… And… I just… He can’t bend down to kiss him anymore. I had to make him stand up to kiss me on the cheek. I-It's unfair to him… I just… I’m a terrible father! I should've just let Rob tuck him in! He’s here to help us! And I didn’t let him help!” 

“Shh… It’s okay Julian. It’s okay. Not much longer and you’ll be able to even snuggle with the boys. It’s okay. I promise,” Danny whispered. He rubbed Julian’s back and placed a kiss on the younger man’s stubbled cheek. 

“I-I’m terrible. I-I… I won't’ be a good father to our baby girl! I’m so sorry,” Julian sobbed as he stuffed his hands in his face. 

“Our baby boy will love you,” Danny whispered as he pulled Julian into him. He placed his chin on top of Julian’s hand. “Just as much as I do. Now why don’t we go to sleep? You look exhausted. I know I am too. There’s a game tomorrow.”

Julian agreed. “O-Okay. Only if I’m the little spoon,” Julian replied. 

And how could Danny deny that? He loved draping his hand over Julian’s bump and feeling the baby kick all night. It was calming knowing that their little one was close to making it… 

The next morning, Danny woke up to Julian shuffling next to him. 

“Happy birthday, Danny,” Julian whispered as he leaned over and placed a kiss on Danny’s cheek. It was a late morning and Rob was taking care of the kids for the morning. 

Danny let out a sigh. “Thank you… It’s… It’s uh Ethan’s birthday, too,” Danny whispered as he reached over and placed a hand on Julian’s stomach. “He’d be a year old.” He let out a sigh as he shook his head and rested his forehead on Julian’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay, babe,” Julian whispered as he ran a hand through Danny’s dark hair. “H-He’s in a better place now. He’d want you to be happy on your birthday.” 

“I-I guess,” Danny whispered. “But it’s his birthday, too. I know you can’t really go anywhere, but are you okay if I stop by the cemetery by myself? Before I go to the game,” Danny asked, his brown eyes meeting Julian’s. 

Julian nodded. “Yeah, babe. I don’t see why not,” Julian replied. “The boy’s and I will hold the fort down while you and Rob play.” 

Danny nodded. “Thank you, Jules. I-It means a lot.” 

***

“Daddy! There’s Papa,” Dylan exclaimed with a big smile as he leaned into Julian and pointed toward the TV. Danny was on the TV in the starting position, waiting for the punt to come his way. 

“Yeah, Bubs! There he is,” he said as he adjusted himself in his seat. His stomach was flipping and flopping just like it always did when he watched Danny. He always got so nervous because he didn’t Danny to get hurt. “You see Papa, Brad?” 

Brad looked up with icy blue eyes. His arms were crossed. “Papa went to visit baby Ethan without me,” he grumbled. “You wouldn’t let me go either! It isn’t fair!” 

Julian let out a sigh. “I’m sorry bud! We can go as soon as the baby is born! Or maybe Papa can take you tomorrow after practice… How does that sound,” Julian said, raising an eyebrow as his son. 

The stern look on Brad’s face fell. “Okay… Will we be able to go to another game? I wanna go to another game!” Brad’s blue eyes were not full of hope.

“If we can get grandma rose to watch the baby, then we will be able to go to one more… How does that sound,” Julian offered as Dylan moved closer to him. He put his head on Julian’s bump and let out a content sigh.

“When will the baby be here, Daddy? It’s he’s kicking at my ear right now! It tickles,” Dylan jumped in with a giggle. “It feels funn- Ow! That hurt!” He pulled his head away from Julian’s bump and gave it a little tap. “That hurt, baby!” 

“Dylan,” Julian said as he shook his head. “Don’t do that! The baby can’t see what it’s doing! She didn’t mean it!” 

Dylan brought his hand up and rubbed Julian’s bump. “I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to.” 

Julian ran a hand through Dylan’s hair as he looked back up at the TV. “Look guys! They’re at the five yard line!” He watched as they set up… And He knew the exact play. Danny was going to cut right… Then take a hard left and Tom would sail the ball through the air to him. 

“Come on bubs!” Julian whispered as he sat up a little and watched as the ball was hiked. “There! To Danny!” 

And it was like Tom could hear Julian. The ball was thrown up and straight into Danny’s arms! “Yeah baby!” Julian yelled as he hopped up and threw his hands up in the air. His shirt rode up… and then… A shooting pain made its way through his abdomen… And you’ve gotta be kidding. 

He held his back and slowly sunk into the couch. “Ah shit! Oh no… Oh god,” he whispered as he sat back and let out a huff. The pain settled and that was when he noticed both of the kids looking back at him. Brad’s face was covered in worry. 

“D-Daddy?” Brad asked as he stood from the floor. “Are… Are you okay?” His big blue eyes looked up, and Julian instantly got worried. 

“Yeah… I uh… Can you maybe get me my phone from the kitchen? I-I think I need to call Papa.” Julian let out a shaky breath and turned to Dylan. “I think… I think your baby sister is going to be coming tonight.” 

Dylan’s eyes went wide as he looked from Julian's bump and to Julian's eyes. 

Another pain shot through Julian’s body-- and his guess was correct. Yep… Based on the growing wet spot on the couch… The baby was coming. 

Brad came running into the room with the phone and Julian instantly took it. He dialed the number he’d had on speed dial for the past month and brought it up to his ear. “Julian? Is… Is it time,” Josh McDaniels voice instantly said through the phone. 

Julian swallowed and nodded. “Y-Yeah… Tell Danny to get to the hospital.” 

*** 

Three and a half hours later, Gisele was sitting in the waiting from with all of the kids, waiting to hear news on the baby.

Dylan looked up from his cars at the right time. “Papa! Papa! How is the baby!” 

Danny smiled as everyone looked up at him. “The baby is perfectly healthy. We have a nine pound, four ounce, 22 inch long baby boy,” He said with a big smile on his face. He leaned down to grab Dylan and held him close. 

Gisele hopped up with a big smile on her face. “Congratulations, Danny! I am so happy for you two,” she said as she moved over and wrapped an arm around him, placing a kiss on his stubbled cheek. 

“Thank you Gisele! Hey buddy,” Danny said and looked at Dylan. “I’ve gotta head back in by Daddy, okay? I need to check on him.” 

Dylan nodded and placed a big kiss on Danny’s cheek. “Okay Papa! I can’t wait to see the baby,” he exclaimed as he was let down. 

Gisele gave Danny and sideways glance. “He tore a bit… They had to patch him up… He probably won't be completely healed for a while,” Danny said quietly. 

Gisele nodded. “Alright, Dola… Congratulations… Now go get in there. I’m sure Julian and you want a few minutes alone with the baby,” she said with a smile as she nudged him in the direction that he came from. 

Danny smiled and made his way back to the room Julian was in. When he got there, the baby had yet to come back, but Julian’s eyes were just peaking open. “I-Is it really a boy,” Julian questioned as Danny sat down next to him. 

He was in a deep haze from the medications and wanted to make sure he heard the doctors properly. Danny nodded as he grabbed Julian’s hand. “They should be rolling him in any minute.” 

As if on cue, the nurse came in rolling the baby bassinet. “Hey little one, would you like to see your daddy's?” 

Danny instantly hopped up and moved over to the bassinet. “Thank you nurse Vivian,” he said with a smile as he leaned down and got the baby up. 

“Hi baby boy,” he said with a big smile. “I suppose you and I share a birthday… Even though you were born just a few minutes before the clock struck twelve,” Danny whispered. Under the little Patriots hat, there was dark hair. He smiled-- Did they really have another baby that was going to have his hair? “You share one with your brother, Ethan, too… Sadly he isn’t around anymore.” A stray tear pulled from his eye. He shook his head. “Do you wanna meet your Daddy?” 

Danny glanced up to see Julian sleepily smiling up at him. “Give him here… I wanna see the beautiful human we made,” Julian whispered as he made grabby hands. 

“Okay, okay,” Danny joked with a smile as he leaned down and rested the baby into Julian’s arms.

Julian smiled at the closed eyed baby lying in his arms. Cute little lips, a little nose, and all that dark hair. He rolled his eyes. Another one that looked like Danny. “We’re going to have another you,” Julian whispered and looked up at Danny. 

“I guess we know who has the dominant genes,” Danny joked as he smiled at Julian and sat down in the chair next to the bed. 

Julian’s blue eyes flicked up. “Danny… Do you think you could come up here and snuggle with us,” Julian asked, his eyes a big as a puppies. 

And how could Danny say no? This was the only time that they’d get with just the three of them for the next 15 or 16 years. Julian inched a bit to the side and made room for Danny. Danny crawled up on the bed and let out a yawn. He rested an arm around Julian, like he was helping support the baby and rested his head on Julian's shoulder. 

Danny smiled at the sleeping baby as his eyes fell shut. There was complete silence, and when Danny thought he’d finally be getting some sleep, Julian spoke up. 

“I think we’ve got a problem,” Julian whispered. Danny eyes snapped open… Oh shit… Problem? What problem? 

“W-What are you talking about,” Danny asked, his wide brown eyes looking down at their sleeping son. 

“Well,” Julian said and let out a sigh. He leaned his head into Danny’s. “I-I don’t think that he looks like a Brandon Anthony at all.” 

Danny rolled his eyes. “Y-You had me worried for a second. If he doesn’t look like a Brandon, then what does he look like,” Danny asked quietly. “I think he’s beautiful. That’s all that matters.” 

Julian nodded. “I-I think he should be named the name you picked… Garrett Austin…” 

Danny’s heart swelled. He knew that no matter what, both he and Julian would do everything in their power to protect Garrett Austin, as well as their other two kids… Hopefully with the health of Ethan from above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REALLY hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you thought!


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